Real talk: Are you getting where you want to go in life? Are you putting your foot on the gas pedal, or are you idling?
These are hard questions to ask – I get that. But they’re also really important.
You’re the one in the driver’s seat. Falling asleep at the wheel is dangerous, both literally and metaphorically.
But being awake, alert, and active? That can save a life.
It’s been my honor to coach two private clients in VIP coaching days this week. These women are AWAKE. They are shifting old patterns, questioning limiting beliefs, and saying goodbye to self-doubt. I’m so proud of them.
If you’re yearning for that, remind yourself …
“It’s me who decides.”
This is a quote from Pamela Druckerman’s memoir Bringing Up Bebe. Druckerman writes about a day when her small son kept running outside the park gate. She kept trying to say no, but it wasn’t working.
Then Druckerman’s friend Frederique showed her how to say no from a place of clarity, assurance, and conviction. And lo and behold, the little boy paid attention.
“Saying no isn’t exactly a cutting-edge parenting technique. What’s new is Frederique’s coaching me to drop my ambivalence and be certain about my own authority …. C’est moi qui decide (It’s me who decides). Just uttering this sentence is strangely fortifying.”
“It’s me who decides” helped me the other night. After a full day of work, I had a weightlifting session scheduled. Part of me wanted to keep my commitment to getting stronger, and part of me wanted to go lie down.
I wasn’t sure if I was needing-to-rest tired or I’m-just-reluctant tired, though I suspected the latter.
So I did what many of us do: I didn’t decide. Instead, I did a series of small tasks, such as replying to emails. Since I wasn’t willing to commit to a decision, I stalled. My confidence and self-trust ebbed away.
Fortunately, I stopped the cycle and walked up to my husband Jonathan. He knew I’d intended to lift, so he raised an eyebrow and said, “Well?”
Then I told him all of the reasons why I thought I shouldn’t do my workout. In my head they had seemed reasonable, but when I spoke them aloud, they sounded flimsy.
We talked through the hesitations, but really, Jonathan didn’t have to say much. Both of us knew that it was time for me to choose.
The words that came out of my mouth were: “You know what? I don’t feel like it, but I’m going to work out anyway.”
In that moment, I did feel reluctant, but I also felt strong.
And you know what’s crazy? I had a great workout! The weights went up easily. I’d sold myself on this story of how it was going to be so hard to lift, when in reality the hardest part was making the decision to do it.
Here’s my question to you: Where are you deferring a decision? Where are you telling yourself a defeating story: “It’s too hard, I can’t do it, I’ll mess up” … ?
Wherever that is, commit to a choice … and watch yourself get stronger.
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