After 10 years, we’re done (with martyrdom)

A Wish Come Clear is 10 years old this week. I published the first post on January 16, 2011. To quote Captain Awkward – a fellow 10 year blogging veteran – this makes the blog “1 bajillion years old in blog years.” In hindsight, it’s easy to see that starting the blog was a good choice: It’s now a thriving community with thousands of kindred spirits gathered here. You, dear ones, are the reason that I wrote (and got a book deal for) my forthcoming book, You Don’t Owe Anyone. Yet there were plenty of reasons why it was crazy ...
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You Need to Hear These 6 Words Today

“Walk like you’re one inch taller.” Dawn, my new physical therapist, was coaching me to walk properly last week. She’s helping me to improve my posture and alignment in order to heal from birth injuries. As you’d imagine, I’m taking this work seriously. I’m on time for every appointment, giving each exercise my all. But those 6 words nearly stopped me in my tracks. The ears of my soul perked up, like a cat at the sound of kibble. That’s what my body feels like when it hears something true; my inner animal snaps to attention. …
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Don’t Give Up in the Eleventh Hour

“How do I not give up in the eleventh hour?” This is a heartfelt listener question, and I take it seriously. Here’s my short answer (which connects to the theme of our featured interview this week): Don’t be that mean to yourself. …
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The Price We Pay for Delaying Decisions

What do you do when you’re not sure about a decision? If you’re like me, you debate it endlessly in your own mind. You go over the pros and cons. You try very hard to figure out what the best choice might be. But all of this striving is exhausting. And often, we expend so much effort trying to make the “perfect” decision that we don’t make a choice at all.  …
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When Your Family Doesn’t Support Your Dreams

“How do I practice self care and pursue dreams with a family that say they support you until it is inconvenient for them? (Leaving my family is not an option.)” Wow, what a great listener question! What do we do when the people closest to us don’t support our dreams? If you’ve ever wrestled with that issue, then click here to watch the new, 11:56 minute video. …
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Is It Okay to Want More?

“I am in ambivalence (or in quantum congruence?): I both think I am very happy and satisfied with my life as it is; and at the same time I think that I must serve a better purpose. Which one is true?” I love this listener question from The Clarity Course Series, because goodness knows I’ve struggled with it! Back in 2012, I constantly asked myself, “How can I want to leave my job at L’Arche when I love my friends there so much?” For months, I couldn’t come up with a good answer. …
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Are You Hiding Behind “I Don’t Know”?

Have you ever spent a day just noticing how many times you hear the phrase I don’t know … ? If so, then you know this to be true: We have a don’t-know epidemic on our hands. To wit, here are a few listener questions from The Clarity Course Series survey. “I don’t even know where to start … I know very little about technology and the industry. I have so many ideas and interests it is hard to choose where to start.” “What if I don’t know what I really want?” Sometimes, our not-knowing is legitimate. We need to ...
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I Feel Bad About Myself, How Do You Get Confidence?

“Can you help me to improve my bad feeling about myself which I’ve had all through my working life (about 20 years..)?” “What are some strategies to stay out of your own head and ignore/stop negative self talk?” “How do I increase my confidence in myself? How can I have more confidence in me?” These are all listener questions from The Clarity Course survey. Most of us are very familiar with that “bad feeling” about ourselves. We’d love to feel more confident, clear, and strong … but how can we, when there are scary shadows of doubt and fear lurking ...
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I Thought I Needed to Feel Strong (I Was Wrong)

“How do I overcome low self esteem when I don’t really like much about myself? People would say to me when my father was dying, “You’ll be stronger.” Yet I recently got into a verbal disagreement with someone at work, and I was so angry I wanted to cry and it showed. I don’t feel stronger or resilient, why is that? That listener question from The Clarity Course survey spoke right to my heart. So, I recorded this video for her … and for YOU. If you’ve ever thought that you should feel stronger or better than you actually do ...
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You Have Got To Reach

Once upon a time, I spoke to a woman who said, “I don’t feel adequate enough to talk to you.” How’s that for an opening? This woman had reasons to feel less-than, stuck, and scared. To protect her privacy, I won’t share those reasons here. It suffices to say that she had a tough history. She dreamed of helping other people, but struggled to help herself. When I encouraged her to get support for her journey, she made an effort and asked for help once. But when she didn’t hear back, she stopped asking. …
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