Don’t Give Up in the Eleventh Hour

“How do I not give up in the eleventh hour?” This is a heartfelt listener question, and I take it seriously. Here’s my short answer (which connects to the theme of our featured interview this week): Don’t be that mean to yourself. …
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Torn Between Personal Growth and Career Success?

“How do I know when I need to focus more on personal growth, and when to focus more on career success?” This listener question from The Clarity Course Series illumines a popular assumption. We believe that our personal growth doesn’t feed our career success, and vice versa. But what if we can’t separate them into neat boxes? What if they’re intertwined? …
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Making Time to Go After Goals

“How can I have the confidence to make the time to go after my goals when my brain tells me they are frivolous?” “How can I be more efficient with my use of time … and fit exercise into an already packed schedule? [Housework, part-time employment, half-time Ph.D. studies, dependent elderly father 90 minutes away refusing to consider moving into care.]” Boy oh boy, could I relate to these listener questions from The Clarity Course Series. Though our circumstances are different, I know what it’s like to work big goals into an already-full life. …
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You Have Got To Reach

Once upon a time, I spoke to a woman who said, “I don’t feel adequate enough to talk to you.” How’s that for an opening? This woman had reasons to feel less-than, stuck, and scared. To protect her privacy, I won’t share those reasons here. It suffices to say that she had a tough history. She dreamed of helping other people, but struggled to help herself. When I encouraged her to get support for her journey, she made an effort and asked for help once. But when she didn’t hear back, she stopped asking. …
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It’s Me Who Decides.

Real talk: Are you getting where you want to go in life? Are you putting your foot on the gas pedal, or are you idling? These are hard questions to ask – I get that. But they’re also really important. You’re the one in the driver’s seat. Falling asleep at the wheel is dangerous, both literally and metaphorically. But being awake, alert, and active? That can save a life. …
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6 Ways to Get Rid of Perfectionism Even When Excuses Abound

“How did you start to get rid of perfectionism and make the steps to become an author? How did you transition from living your “past life” to the life you have now?” Here’s what I know: Perfectionism is fancied-up fear. To paraphrase Liz Gilbert in Big Magic, it’s fear in a fur coat. Perfectionism may seem classy and high-functioning, but deep down it’s just you being afraid. How to overcome fear in four words? Ground yourself in love. That’s the larger principle, but what does it look like to LIVE that truth, day in and day out? Here are a ...
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True Recovering Perfectionist? Then Press Play!

“We fear losing other people’s approval. We’re so scared of that, that’s so terrifying to us! But what actually hurts a lot more is when we completely reject ourselves.” This is a quote from my recent appearance on Claire Barton’s podcast, in an episode titled True Recovering Perfectionist. …
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What To Do When A Blizzard Hits Your Life

Dear Caroline*, One minute I had a good life. I was happy, and my family was happy too. The next minute, we received some terrible and unexpected news. Without going into detail, I can say that it has been devastating … a slow-motion train wreck with no end in sight. Surviving the present takes everything I have. I was in shock for a while. In a way I still am, but I’m getting through the days at least. Even though I still have a lot to be thankful for – a steady job, a safe place to live – it ...
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What to Do When You Feel Not Good Enough

Don’t you love how every epic saga starts with the main character going through their usual routine for the millionth time? Cinderella sweeps the hearth and endures the same familial abuse. Katniss goes to the Reaping and faces the same brutal injustice. Lyra prowls Oxford and hides from the same protective grownups. (If you haven’t read the His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman, please cancel your plans and remedy this oversight immediately.) And then something bizarre happens. A fairy godmother shows up, a familiar name is called, someone slips poison into a glass. In a moment, the journey begins. ...
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In Which I Break the Rules & Go Cold Turkey

Nobody likes being sick. A few weeks ago, I faced a fourth case of shingles, my least-favorite and most-recurrent illness. And my body was in great shape compared with my thoughts, which surrounded perfectionism and blogging. You see, I was struggling with a scarcity mindset regarding our readership here. I’d become overly attached to the goal of reaching 1,000 subscribers, so much so that I couldn’t feel the tremendous abundance that is already here. To be fair, this 1,000-subscriber fixation didn’t come out of nowhere. It was fueled by the advice of myriad big-time bloggers, many of whom actually say, ...
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