What To Do When A Blizzard Hits Your Life

Dear Caroline*,

One minute I had a good life. I was happy, and my family was happy too. The next minute, we received some terrible and unexpected news.

Without going into detail, I can say that it has been devastating … a slow-motion train wreck with no end in sight.

when a blizzard hits your life

Surviving the present takes everything I have. I was in shock for a while. In a way I still am, but I’m getting through the days at least.

Even though I still have a lot to be thankful for – a steady job, a safe place to live – it feels as though I’ve lost everything. There’s so much grief and anger and fear.

It’s hard to do simple things, like shower. Even breathing feels hard sometimes.

I feel bad and judge myself for not living up to my potential, for not being stronger … but the thing is, I am doing the best I can. It’s just that my best has become so humble.

I’m not sure that I have a question, exactly. I just wanted to write and ask what you would say to someone who is going through the hardest time of her life.

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What to Do When You Feel Not Good Enough

Don’t you love how every epic saga starts with the main character going through their usual routine for the millionth time?

Cinderella sweeps the hearth and endures the same familial abuse.

Katniss goes to the Reaping and faces the same brutal injustice.

Lyra prowls Oxford and hides from the same protective grownups. (If you haven’t read the His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman, please cancel your plans and remedy this oversight immediately.)

And then something bizarre happens. A fairy godmother shows up, a familiar name is called, someone slips poison into a glass. In a moment, the journey begins.

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In Which I Break the Rules & Go Cold Turkey

Nobody likes being sick. A few weeks ago, I faced a fourth case of shingles, my least-favorite and most-recurrent illness. And my body was in great shape compared with my thoughts, which surrounded perfectionism and blogging.

You see, I was struggling with a scarcity mindset regarding our readership here. I’d become overly attached to the goal of reaching 1,000 subscribers, so much so that I couldn’t feel the tremendous abundance that is already here.

To be fair, this 1,000-subscriber fixation didn’t come out of nowhere. It was fueled by the advice of myriad big-time bloggers, many of whom actually say, You’re a blogging nobody until you get 1,000 subscribers. If your number is below 1,000, don’t mention it anywhere on your site – smaller numbers scare people off.

The implied rule is, “Tuck your tail and be ashamed of your blog until you get the shred of legitimacy afforded by the number 1,000.”

So … this is me breaking that rule.

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