“We fear losing other people’s approval. We’re so scared of that, that’s so terrifying to us! But what actually hurts a lot more is when we completely reject ourselves.” This is a quote from my recent appearance on Claire Barton’s podcast, in an episode titled True Recovering Perfectionist.
True Recovering Perfectionist with Claire Barton
Claire Barton is an Australian coach, mentor, speaker, writer, and host of The Recovering Perfectionist podcast. She and I connected on Facebook earlier this year, and I’m thankful to be a guest on her show!
To listen to the podcast audio only, go here: True Recovering Perfectionist. You can also listen on iTunes. *Note that the audio quality is patchy at the beginning, but that it improves after the intro.*
To watch the Youtube video, click here or press play below.
In our discussion, Claire and I covered:
- The moment I knew I had a problem with perfectionism (and how I began to heal)
- What the recovery process looks like in real time, and why our limiting beliefs matter so much
- How embracing your imperfections can be an access point for Divine guidance
- The fear of taking risks and saying no, and how to conquer it
- How to stop draining yourself dry and set boundaries
- Shifting focus from people-pleasing to living with integrity
- The number-one way I stay centered each day (and a fun week-long challenge)
“[Recovery] is being able to look at the same circumstance through different eyes, remembering to put on the glasses. One of my favorite writers, Anne Lamott, [says], ‘Heaven is just a new pair of glasses.’ How often do I remember to put on the glasses that allow me to see clearly, and how often do I stumble around blindly, hurting myself, hurting others, bumping into things?”
“I do still struggle with not giving 100% away to whoever asks, or having some energy left at the end of the day. It can be scary for me, because I’ll think, ‘Does this mean I didn’t give enough?’ I’ll have anxiety about it. But if you have energy left at the end of the day, it means you don’t wake up completely destroyed tomorrow.”
“The tendency with perfectionists – if we’re feeling low, if we’re feeling like we need a boost – is to do more, it’s to achieve more, it’s to add. So it’s really counterintuitive to [ask], ‘What can I subtract?'”
I’m grateful to Claire for hosting this show, and I invite you to check out her podcast archives for even more great conversations!
Oh, and PS! Thanks to your enthusiastic response to last week’s post, The Theology of Audrey Hepburn and Pippin the Deer, I recorded a Facebook Live video to talk more about why it matters. You can watch the video on Facebook or on Youtube, or by pressing play below.
I’m planning to record a new Facebook Live every other Thursday at 4pm Central Time for the time being to experiment with the platform, so tune in over at A Wish Come Clear’s Facebook Page!
Are you a “true recovering perfectionist” too? Join the conversation in the comments below!
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