For the Ones Who Hide Away When They’re Struggling

“Hi friend, how are you doing today? Thinking of you and sending love your way.”

I press send on the text, then click my phone screen off. I know better than to expect an immediate response from friends who hide away when they’re struggling.

My friend deals with depression and anxiety, and I know that this is a challenging time for her. I also know that when things get tough she tends to go dark.

Still I send the message and the love anyway. I pray that it can help her to defy the voices that tell her that she’s a bad friend, that she’s just bringing everybody down, that nobody cares.

Sure, sometimes her virtual disappearances get frustrating, but I know that that’s because I do the same.

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Set Boundaries and Declare Dominion: You Need to Read with Anna Kunnecke (Plus a Book Giveaway!)

Let’s start our conversation about how to set boundaries and declare dominion in the most logical place: with the dream I had the other night about owning a living, breathing miniature elephant.

(We’re going somewhere with this, I promise.)

I’d had the tiny elephant for a few days, and I’d thought that I was taking pretty good care of it. But then I placed a container of water down on the floor where the elephant lived, and the little guy went crazy.

set boundaries and declare dominion, elephants

Within seconds it was splashing and guzzling water, equal parts desperate with thirst and wild with joy.

That was when it dawned on me that while I had provided food, I had never given the elephant water. I just hadn’t realized it was necessary.

Aghast, I kept repeating, “I didn’t know.”

When I woke up, I realized that the elephant represented me and the water stood for sustenance, for the ability to take care of my own needs.

For so long, a small, vulnerable part of me had been so thirsty, and I hadn’t known enough to give it water.

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What Happens When You Surrender to Stillness: A Story

It was the best birthday present I could have given myself: an hour to just be. There I was in restorative yoga, lying on my purple mat, posed to surrender to stillness.

In case you haven’t tried it, restorative yoga is a sublime form of deep rest that releases tension on every level.

I love my local studio’s class, but I don’t go much. The poses are deceptively simple, so often I convince myself I could do them at home.

But of course I am a recovering perfectionist and workaholic, so you can imagine the result of that rationalization.

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