After 10 years, we’re done (with martyrdom)

A Wish Come Clear is 10 years old this week. I published the first post on January 16, 2011. To quote Captain Awkward – a fellow 10 year blogging veteran – this makes the blog “1 bajillion years old in blog years.” In hindsight, it’s easy to see that starting the blog was a good choice: It’s now a thriving community with thousands of kindred spirits gathered here. You, dear ones, are the reason that I wrote (and got a book deal for) my forthcoming book, You Don’t Owe Anyone. Yet there were plenty of reasons why it was crazy ...
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I’m behind, what do I do?

Dear ones, First, thank you so much for the outpouring of support and congratulations you sent after last week’s missive! It’s a delight begin celebrating my book’s upcoming publication with you. As promised, today I’m going to tell you about how to get your hands on a digital advance copy of You Don’t Owe Anyone. But first – let me tell you why I almost didn’t send this missive today. It was partly because of the news from Washington, which is both predictable yet so catastrophically bad that it seems to drown out everything else. But it was also because ...
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The very real pain of not giving up

Dear one, It’s not like you thought it would be, is it? To put it mildly, this past year did not go to plan. It was a reckoning, in every sense of the word. We’ve seen just how tenuous our “normal” is, just how quickly life as we knew it can end. And so perhaps you’re looking ahead to this new year and feeling a strange mixture of terror and anticipation. Will things get worse before they get better? Will COVID be a memory by this time next year? Where are we in the scope of this struggle? Of course, ...
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The Most Likely Way You’ll Take Back Your Time

Having a baby has changed the way I make choices. Time with Baby Girl McGraw is such a big YES for me that it puts every other decision into sharper focus. “Do I want to take on this project?” turns into, “Do I want to trade an hour with our long-awaited little one? Do I want to source childcare for this time? Is it worth it to me?” I’m hooked on the fierce clarity. But the challenge, of course, is to translate thought into action – to LIVE from that place of integrity. Is this something you struggle with, dear ...
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If only you knew (what it’s really like to write)

Over a dozen of you wrote to me last week to share how much the missive meant to you. Thank you. As I read message after message, I shook my head and thought, “Wow. If only they knew.” Then I realized that perhaps it’s right that you DO know. The morning I wrote that missive, I did not bounce out of bed with a smile. Like so many other parents in this COVID time, my husband and I have been caring for our baby for 2 months without outside help, while both running our businesses. We’re thankful to have that ...
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Manage Your Mind and Make Progress: A 5 Day Challenge!

Welcome to our new 5 day challenge video series, Manage Your Mind & Make Progress: Break Through the Negative Thought Patterns That Hold You Back. In this series, you’ll learn: The #1 reason why you haven’t been able to shift your negative thought patterns up until now A proven escape hatch from the pain of negative thoughts How to retrain your brain and stop procrastinating What to do when managing your mind just isn’t working! How to stand in your power and choose wisely Thank you to everyone who submitted their painful thoughts; press play and learn how to handle ...
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How to Break Through Negative Thought Patterns

Can I get real with you right now? I did something crazy this summer. (It’s kind of embarrassing, but it’s coming up as a story that needs to be told. I’ve learned over the years to pay attention to this feeling, to put aside my ego and be of service.) Here’s what happened. After the epic labor and birth of our baby – which I have compared to being in a street fight with my own body – I needed surgery. Afterward, the nurse offered me a Motrin. Given that, you know, the anesthetic was going to wear off, and ...
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You Need to Hear These 6 Words Today

“Walk like you’re one inch taller.” Dawn, my new physical therapist, was coaching me to walk properly last week. She’s helping me to improve my posture and alignment in order to heal from birth injuries. As you’d imagine, I’m taking this work seriously. I’m on time for every appointment, giving each exercise my all. But those 6 words nearly stopped me in my tracks. The ears of my soul perked up, like a cat at the sound of kibble. That’s what my body feels like when it hears something true; my inner animal snaps to attention. …
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Why Do I Feel Bad When I Spend Money On Myself?

I used to have so much trouble spending money “just for me.” In college, I worked three jobs, volunteered, and tithed hundreds of dollars to my church … and I couldn’t pull the trigger on a $15 gift for myself. Before I graduated from Vassar, I wanted to buy a coffee mug from my favorite cafe … but I couldn’t do it. Spending money on that “selfish” purchase was too anxiety-producing. Why do I feel bad when I spend money on myself? I wondered.  …
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Don’t Give Up in the Eleventh Hour

“How do I not give up in the eleventh hour?” This is a heartfelt listener question, and I take it seriously. Here’s my short answer (which connects to the theme of our featured interview this week): Don’t be that mean to yourself. …
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