Home/I’m behind, what do I do?

Dear ones,

First, thank you so much for the outpouring of support and congratulations you sent after last week’s missive!

It’s a delight begin celebrating my book’s upcoming publication with you.

As promised, today I’m going to tell you about how to get your hands on a digital advance copy of You Don’t Owe Anyone.

But first – let me tell you why I almost didn’t send this missive today. It was partly because of the news from Washington, which is both predictable yet so catastrophically bad that it seems to drown out everything else.

But it was also because lately I’ve been hearing some variation of this theme from a diverse group of coaching clients …

“It’s the new year, so I’ve got to get going! Everybody is launching everything! I’ve got to go full speed on my business / creative project / life purpose! I’m BEHIND!

Yet there are all the responsibilities of regular life, plus my inbox is crazy. I have tons of browser tabs; all of these articles and courses sound good. And the national news is so bad, can we talk about that for a second?

I’m overwhelmed and I’m tired. I didn’t take much downtime during the holidays. There was so much to do, but now I’m mad that I didn’t really take a BREAK!

I get that we’re in the middle of a huge crisis and this is crazy, but I worry I’m not living up to my purpose! I’m not doing enough! What do I do?”

And the answer is: Nothing. There is nothing to be “done” about this particular quandary. There are only things to leave undone, and old beliefs to let go of.

At most, there’s cleaning out our wounds, so that they can heal by themselves.

Though the new year has amped it up, this anxiety isn’t a new phenomenon. Consider these questions I received after The Pursue Your Path Series last year …

  • “How do you handle grace with yourself in hard times? I find it so difficult! How can I get out of my “productivity = worthiness” limiting belief?”
  • “How do I quiet the noise of all these possibilities I’m trying to explore? I can’t focus.”
  • “How do you manage the pressure? And how did you find self-love?”

When readers and clients say these things to me, I let my words be few.

Mostly I just look at them – these brilliant beings of light – and I notice how beautiful they are. I feel the love I have for them, the love that the whole universe has for them.

I try not to add to the noise, because the antidote to this hamster-wheel energy isn’t more advice and more good ideas.

The antidote isn’t adding, it’s subtracting.

It’s about giving them a space where they can just REST. Where they can just for a moment lay down the immense, constant burden of having to be good, better, and best.

Where they can glimpse the truth that they are just fine – beloved, even – right where they are. No improvements necessary.

I know that this is the antidote not because I am an enlightened guru (far from it), but because I have needed it SO MUCH in my own life.

It’s taken a long time and a lot of work to reset my default “I’m behind, so I have to hustle hard and work like crazy just to be okay.” If I’m not careful, I still fall into it.

With this missive today, I do not want to add any stress or pressure to your life. I do NOT want to give you one more excuse to effort and “prove” that you’re worthy.

You are already that.

Instead, what I’d like to do is help you to remember what is always and already true.

And in THAT spirit: I invite you to read my book.

It’s about how I realized that actually, I don’t owe anybody anything. For years I thought I did. I was world class at being the good girl, the people pleaser, and the super Christian. (I was in a cult, and I was good at it!) The book is about how I got free from all of that, free from the weight of expectations.

Here’s what author and CEO Ash Ambirge had to say about it:

I want to thrash around wildly and cry and scream and yell and then shove this book into the hands of every single person I’ve ever met and say, ‘Here, you *have* to read this.’ For the people pleasing, always-there-for-everyone, never-let-a-ball-drop overextenders, overworkers, and overachievers: this book will make you burn it all down … and rejoice. It’s the perfect book for perfectionists. Ironic? Maybe. Imperative? Definitely.

Though the book doesn’t launch until April 20th, please join the You Don’t Owe Anyone Launch Team to ..

a) read a digital copy sooner and
b) help me get the word out.

It’s a simple, easy process, and it will make a big difference for the book’s launch.

If you KNOW that you need to get free from the weight of expectations in 2021, this is your next step.

Click here to join the launch team and get access to a digital advance copy of You Don’t Owe Anyone.

Thank you so much for your help, it means the world to me.

Love,
Caroline

PS – A word of warning to my fellow recovering perfectionists: Please, don’t do that thing we do where you wait until you feel better/accomplish more to be generous to yourself and give yourself permission to read this book. That’s getting it backwards. Be generous to yourself, give yourself permission, then notice how much better you feel!

Similarly, do not for one second buy into the limiting belief that your participation in this won’t “really matter.” It matters to me, immensely! I will be in close contact with the launch team, I’ll know every name, and I’d love to see YOU there.

Click here to join the launch team.

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