What Happens When You Surrender to Stillness: A Story

It was the best birthday present I could have given myself: an hour to just be. There I was in restorative yoga, lying on my purple mat, posed to surrender to stillness.

In case you haven’t tried it, restorative yoga is a sublime form of deep rest that releases tension on every level.

I love my local studio’s class, but I don’t go much. The poses are deceptively simple, so often I convince myself I could do them at home.

But of course I am a recovering perfectionist and workaholic, so you can imagine the result of that rationalization.

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Can’t Stop Striving? Your Free Perfectionist Recovery Toolkit Is Here!

I knew I was a perfectionist the day I got into a car crash on the way to high school.

The accident totaled our family’s pretty blue Chrysler Concorde, and I wasn’t in great shape either. Thankfully I didn’t sustain significant physical injuries, but I was hyperventilating, trembling, and generally traumatized.

Still, my tears were barely dry when I insisted on going straight to school.

Why? Well, I thought that since I’d already screwed up by getting into the accident and missing two classes, taking a day off was out of the question.

Though I would never have asked a frightened friend to soldier on like that, I demanded it of myself.

I had to keep striving. There was no room for letting myself be looked after. I couldn’t afford to make yet another mistake.

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Tired of Being Tired? This One’s For You.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who didn’t know how to take care of herself. All she knew was that she was tired of being tired.

When this girl felt physically ill, she tried to cancel her dinner plans … but instead she let a friend override her protests. She showed up at a restaurant burning with fever and flu, then staggered home alone.

When this girl went out and an older, married guy made a pass at her, she tried to move away … but instead she let false guilt freeze her. She just didn’t want him – or anyone else – to feel uncomfortable.

When this girl was exhausted and someone asked her for a ride to a party, she tried to say no … but instead she said yes and spent the return journey sobbing her eyes out.

Every time these situations arose, this girl felt worse about herself. Why did these things keep happening?

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