The very real pain of not giving up

Dear one, It’s not like you thought it would be, is it? To put it mildly, this past year did not go to plan. It was a reckoning, in every sense of the word. We’ve seen just how tenuous our “normal” is, just how quickly life as we knew it can end. And so perhaps you’re looking ahead to this new year and feeling a strange mixture of terror and anticipation. Will things get worse before they get better? Will COVID be a memory by this time next year? Where are we in the scope of this struggle? Of course,...
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You Need to Hear These 6 Words Today

“Walk like you’re one inch taller.” Dawn, my new physical therapist, was coaching me to walk properly last week. She’s helping me to improve my posture and alignment in order to heal from birth injuries. As you’d imagine, I’m taking this work seriously. I’m on time for every appointment, giving each exercise my all. But those 6 words nearly stopped me in my tracks. The ears of my soul perked up, like a cat at the sound of kibble. That’s what my body feels like when it hears something true; my inner animal snaps to attention. …
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Why Do I Feel Bad When I Spend Money On Myself?

I used to have so much trouble spending money “just for me.” In college, I worked three jobs, volunteered, and tithed hundreds of dollars to my church … and I couldn’t pull the trigger on a $15 gift for myself. Before I graduated from Vassar, I wanted to buy a coffee mug from my favorite cafe … but I couldn’t do it. Spending money on that “selfish” purchase was too anxiety-producing. Why do I feel bad when I spend money on myself? I wondered.  …
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The Price We Pay for Delaying Decisions

What do you do when you’re not sure about a decision? If you’re like me, you debate it endlessly in your own mind. You go over the pros and cons. You try very hard to figure out what the best choice might be. But all of this striving is exhausting. And often, we expend so much effort trying to make the “perfect” decision that we don’t make a choice at all.  …
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Do More of What Feels Like Magic

There’s nothing kids love quite like feeling “grown up.” Give them some responsibility, and they’re hooked. At least, that’s how I felt when I worked in my dad’s home office. My dad has his own business, and when he had invoices to mail, he let me help him prepare the envelopes. This was thrilling to me. As a small child, I loved pressing the return-address stamp onto the black ink pad. I loved the stamp’s disappearing act, the swivel that made the raised letters come and go. One moment, there were no words in the upper left hand corner of...
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Eat Enough, Sleep Enough, and Choose to be Happy

My friend’s seven year old son struggles with anxiety and feels life very deeply. So his dad developed this mantra to help him remember the basics: “We’re going to eat enough, We’re going to sleep enough, And we’re going to choose to be happy.” …
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From Ugly Cry To Deeper Why (Vulnerable Video)

Ever have one of those days when you feel like a total failure at life? Ever get so down and discouraged that you’re tempted to give up on your goals and dreams? Me too. But fortunately, that’s not the end of the story. …
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Yes, You Were Meant to Meet That Snake on the Road.

The pavement on the rural road was riddled with cracks, and at first that’s what I thought it was … a sinuous gap stretched before me like a finish line. I had ten more minutes left on my Memorial Day weekend run, and I was deep into that hypnotic running trance. My feet lifted and fell, lifted and fell. Thoughts rose and receded; Katy Perry’s “Roar” scrolled through my mind. It was my story, after all – the story of a girl who loses her voice then gets it back. “I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath...
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Do You Risk Reaching Out?

Have you ever received an invitation that made your heart say YES before your mind could even catch up? Ever had such a strong gut feeling that you needed to be at this exact place, doing this exact thing? That’s how I felt when I was asked to give the keynote speech at this year’s Heart of L’Arche Fundraising Breakfast in Arlington, Virginia on April 25, 2018. Titled, “Risk Reaching Out,” this talk was part of a program that helped raise over $135,000 to support the L’Arche Greater Washington DC community. L’Arche is a worldwide nonprofit that creates homes where...
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6 Ways to Get Rid of Perfectionism Even When Excuses Abound

“How did you start to get rid of perfectionism and make the steps to become an author? How did you transition from living your “past life” to the life you have now?” Here’s what I know: Perfectionism is fancied-up fear. To paraphrase Liz Gilbert in Big Magic, it’s fear in a fur coat. Perfectionism may seem classy and high-functioning, but deep down it’s just you being afraid. How to overcome fear in four words? Ground yourself in love. That’s the larger principle, but what does it look like to LIVE that truth, day in and day out? Here are a...
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