Renovations of the Home & Heart: A Tale of Transformation
Miguel*, one of my friends from L'Arche**, was in the ICU last week. Whenever something like this happens -- and despite the wonderful, highly specialized care he receives, it happens several times a year -- my heart aches. It always seems colossally, brutally unfair, these illnesses and hospitalizations. It reminds me of truths I'd rather not remember: that I am not in control, that my friends at L'Arche are growing older, that I cannot know how much more time they -- or any of us -- have left. There's a terrible powerlessness that comes with knowing: if we choose love,...
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We, the Prodigals: What it Means to Be Lost & Found
There are few terrors worse that the feeling that you've lost someone you love. This much was clear to me on that summer night in 2008. From my perch in the passenger seat, I scanned the sidewalks as best I could, reminding myself to breathe. Everyone was looking, even the police. We'd find her. But we didn't know that, really. Cassandra* had wandered away in the late afternoon, and now it was night. Aileen, my friend and fellow L'Arche** assistant, was in the driver's seat. She had to focus on piloting the van, but I could tell that she was...
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School Lunches (and the Path of Liberation)
In Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott says that, if you're not sure what to write, you can start with school lunches. And so today I am remembering the sound of crinkling brown bags, and the insecurity of youth. Lunch was a litmus test. Would you fit in? Were you acceptable? Lunchtime at Vassar (much less stress) I remember being harangued in elementary school having whole-grain bread on my sandwiches when white bread was all the rage. One girl would say, "Ew, what are those weird things in your bread? Are they bugs?!" She was referring to sunflower seeds,...
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In the Silence That Follows: A Love Story
My dear friend Brooke recently wrote, “I want to listen to what I really want to be working on, what I really want to be writing, where I really want to be spending my energy … and then do that.” This resonated with me, because I've been having trouble listening lately. And when I am having difficulty listening, I am most in need of guidance. Authentic listening is a lot more demanding than it sounds. It asks that you stop and be still. And in the terrifying silence that follows, it asks that you open your heart to what you...
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Launch Day: I Was a Stranger to Beauty is Here!
Oh, happy day! Thanks to ThinkPiece Publishing, my new Kindle Single* is here! It's titled I Was a Stranger to Beauty: A Story of Special Needs, Simplicity, My Brother Willie, My Friend Miguel and A New Way of Seeing the World. (I'm fortunate to have a fantastic publisher who shares my affinity for ridiculously lengthy subtitles.) *If you don't have a Kindle, don't worry! You can read Kindle books with Amazon's (free) Kindle Cloud Reader. If you have Amazon Prime, you can also borrow the book through Amazon's Lending Library. *** This book is the story of a family moving...
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A Song of Joy (and Our Reason to Sing)
Hello, welcome back, and Happy New Year! Coming next Monday, Jan. 14th! First, I'm happy to share that I Was a Stranger to Beauty (my new Kindle Single) launches with ThinkPiece Publishing next Monday, January 14th! L'Arche DC* will receive 5% of the proceeds from the first month's sales. Next week's post will feature an exclusive excerpt, but for this week, a story ... *** With each New Year, I choose a word as my theme. This New Year, it's joyful. I want to embrace the fullness of life, with joy. (In fact, 'Caroline' comes from the French...
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In a Dark Time, Do You Dare to Welcome the Stranger?
About a year ago, I encountered a few words that changed my life. When we first met as roommates, we weren't sure we had a thing in common. Nearly 10 years later, her friendship is a treasure. You know what I mean -- it's the moment when a lyric from a song or a verse from a poem suddenly shoots right through you. It's that AHA of recognition that comes when you read something and say, "That's it exactly." This happened to me last year when, after leaving a stunning photography exhibition featuring actors and actresses with developmental...
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Holding on to Hope (When Everything Seems Bleak)
There are days when it’s easy to be an optimist. These are the days in which your relationships are harmonious, when your work flows smoothly and according-to-plan. And all the while, you’re acutely, beautifully aware of the many blessings that surround you. On days like this, I readily believe in grace. And, in the words of Byron Katie, “Grace means understanding that where you are is where you always wanted to be.” And then there are … the other days. A tough day of flea-fighting The down days. The days that start with you over-sleeping, or maybe waking...
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Make the Call, Take the Nap: Your Body is Worth it
Caring for your body isn't as simple as the magazines make it out to be. The choice to care for your physical self can be very difficult. For example, if you're parenting young children, caring for an aged parent, or managing an ongoing crisis, giving care to your body might seem impossible given what you need to do for others. But at other times -- even in the midst of such challenges -- self-care isn’t impeded by visible roadblocks. Sometimes you have every opportunity to take a nap or go to a yoga class … and you just don’t. There’s...
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What To Do When ‘The Less-Thans’ Strike (Hint: Do Not ‘Try Harder’)
Feeling less-than? You get the thumbs-up from me. "Sometimes, I feel like such a failure," my friend confided. "My house doesn't look as clean as my friends' houses do. I have a job, and two children under the age of three. But I think I should be doing a better job keeping the house clean." I wanted to interject, but I had a feeling there was more to the story. She continued, "After feeling that way for so long, do you know what I found out?" "What?" I asked, leaning forward. "Almost all of my friends who have...
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