Fellow Perfectionists, Come See Me
Recently, I received a message from the moderator of a Facebook group of which I am a member. It read: “Caroline McGraw, please inbox me...I need to ask you something.” There was a plummeting, zooming feeling in my stomach. I clicked away, thinking: This isn't the first time I've felt that the ax is about to fall. *** All at once, I was back in first grade. My teacher, Mrs. Sanosi, had just returned our assignments. I was a good student, accustomed to seeing “Excellent!” atop my worksheets. But this particular paper had See Me written in red ink. Dear...
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The Work That’s Never Done
There's one item in our house that always catches people's eyes. The item in question? A photo collage that my husband Jonathan received when we moved away from the L'Arche community where we met. Farewell collages are a tradition at L'Arche DC; they feature the faces of every person that was a part of L'Arche during the years one lived there. In Jonathan's case, that means five years of faces, five years of relationships. When we first moved, I hesitated to display the collage. The goodbye was still raw; there were (are) so many people we love and miss. And...
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Baby, Have I Got News for You … Good News.
I'm having a hard time is a tough place to start. Walking a peaceful path. Photo Credit: Summer McCreless But alas, it was true for me a while back. I'd been trying to walk a path of love and trust, but my (metaphorical) feet kept slipping. Do you know the feeling? That feeling you get when you want to snap out of a critical mindset, but it's just really, really hard? The way you know better than to judge yourself and others, but you keep doing it anyway? It was like walking along an icy street in winter....
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How to Betray Your True Self (And Then Make Amends)
This is a tale of treachery, but it doesn't start out that way. 'Betrayed' faces, 2011. Instead, it starts with a group of direct-care assistants hanging out in the kitchen of the L'Arche home where we lived and worked in 2008. I'd just finished a strenuous workweek, and I was exhausted. Why? I'd recently said yes to becoming a Home Life Coordinator. In addition to doing caregiving routines, I wrote schedules, mentored assistants, and oversaw home life. We had a number of crises that summer, so I served in the new position while training for it and simultaneously...
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Announcing: A New Documentary (Hula Skirts Ahead)
Dear friends, It's Tuesday afternoon, and I'm camped out in the guest room of my dear friends' home. I've been traveling for two weeks, from an Alabama lake house to a Pittsburgh conference center and everywhere in between. There are plenty of stories to be told, but today, I'd like to share a short documentary with you. Longtime A Wish Come Clear readers may recall a mention or two of this film; it's been in process for two years. In 2011, Edwin Mah -- an American University professor and independent filmmaker -- wrote to me and asked if I'd be...
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It’s Time to Tell the Truth: Guest Post at The BridgeMaker
Hello & happy Friday! First, I have a new guest post up at The BridgeMaker! The BridgeMaker connects people who are looking to find faith, share inspiration and celebrate personal change. (Sound familiar?) Photo Credit: Ashley Baker Haselton As author Alex Blackwell writes, "On the brink of divorce several years ago, I needed to make a few changes within myself before my life could change. Knowing creating positive change was necessary, I started down the path of learning how to appreciate exactly what I have." Today’s post is here: It's Time to Tell the Truth (My Letter to...
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Who’s Right In Front Of You?
When I first saw her, she was striding across Connecticut Avenue. Not in a crosswalk, mind you ... in the middle of the road. She had bright blond hair and a dark tan, and she was walking across what DC residents know is a very, very busy street. At rush hour. With a pronounced limp. In fact, she seemed to be almost dragging her right leg. Cars honked their horns, stopping abruptly to avoid her. Still, she carried on. Busy DC street.Locals will recognize this as 14th St NW, not Connecticut Ave NW. Both are, of course, quite busy.Photo...
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Coming Home: The Liberation I Found at L’Arche
Happy Memorial Day, U.S. readers! This article was originally published in America, February 11, 2013, and is reprinted with the permission of America Press, Inc., americamagazine.org. I remember exactly where I was standing. It was in a small hallway at a L’Arche home in Washington, D.C., when I met my friend and housemate Pedro. At the time, I was visiting L’Arche for a series of interviews. I had not yet received an official job offer, but even so, I knew that I would be coming to live and work there. I could feel it in my bones; this was where...
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Completing the Party: Thoughts on Grace
This is the (edited) text of a talk I gave at Living Spirit Church on Sunday, April 28th. Enjoy! Once upon a time in 2008, I was on routine at L'Arche*, feeling downcast. Most of the assistants on our house team were leaving that summer. Yet even as I dreaded saying goodbye, I saw a silver lining: I'd build stronger relationships with those who remained. You can't always get what you want ... I wanted to mark this place and time when I decided against despair. So I asked Theresa** and Cassandra** if they'd like to do...
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For You, If You Don’t Want to Get Out of Bed in the Morning
It's a bright, beautiful day, but I'm not really seeing it. The world looks bleak. A bombing at the Boston Marathon, a city-wide manhunt, ongoing violence and terrorism the world over ... the hate seems very heavy, and the love feather-light. Part of me wishes I could be a small child again, blessedly unaware of all this. And what is the deepest wish of a child but to be safe, held, home? *** Photo Credit: Brian A. Taylor Photography And that calls a story to mind. To begin, I should tell you that I co-led the opening of...
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