Boundaries are a Girl’s Best Friend

If your energy is dragging and you need a boost, here’s my favorite trick: Set some boundaries on your time and attention.

Step away from something that doesn’t feel right for you and put your focus elsewhere.

This can be terrifying in theory, but when you actually do it? What a rush! This practice has the power to increase your energy like you wouldn’t believe.

For example, recently I decided to try an experiment on Facebook, as I’d noticed my mood dropping whenever I signed in. (Since I’ve been dealing with some health issues, being mindful of my energy has become even more important lately.)

Given that I use Facebook for client-based work and also to maintain A Wish Come Clear’s page, quitting entirely wasn’t a good option. But being on social media drained me daily.

For a long time, I didn’t understand the problem. After all, I’d already unfollowed people who posted triggering content or a disproportionate number of “Which Harry Potter character are you?” quizzes.

Eventually I figured out that simply seeing status updates from hundreds of old friends and acquaintances is hard for me. It induces a kind of compassion fatigue.

When I think about how many people I’ve said hello and goodbye to over the course of thirty years, I sometimes choke on the bittersweetness of it all.

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What To Do When A Blizzard Hits Your Life

Dear Caroline*,

One minute I had a good life. I was happy, and my family was happy too. The next minute, we received some terrible and unexpected news.

Without going into detail, I can say that it has been devastating … a slow-motion train wreck with no end in sight.

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Surviving the present takes everything I have. I was in shock for a while. In a way I still am, but I’m getting through the days at least.

Even though I still have a lot to be thankful for – a steady job, a safe place to live – it feels as though I’ve lost everything. There’s so much grief and anger and fear.

It’s hard to do simple things, like shower. Even breathing feels hard sometimes.

I feel bad and judge myself for not living up to my potential, for not being stronger … but the thing is, I am doing the best I can. It’s just that my best has become so humble.

I’m not sure that I have a question, exactly. I just wanted to write and ask what you would say to someone who is going through the hardest time of her life.

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You Can’t Just Do What You Want … Or Can You? Plus A Giveaway

Ever wish you had permission to do what you actually want, rather than what you’re ‘supposed to’ want? Even if it’s something that seems totally out of character?

You’re a workhorse who wants a week off, or a couch potato who yearns to go backpacking. Or maybe you’re a shy, studious college student who longs to cut loose and sing karaoke at a bar.

Okay, I admit it: that last one was me. I used to think that only really confident people could do karaoke, so I never put my name down even though I wanted to. But one fateful night in 2006, I got tired of being afraid.

With a little help from my friends (and wine) I took the mic and stole the show. And by the show, I mean the DJ’s hat.

Karaoke

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