Are You Hiding Behind “I Don’t Know”?

Have you ever spent a day just noticing how many times you hear the phrase I don’t know … ? If so, then you know this to be true: We have a don’t-know epidemic on our hands. To wit, here are a few listener questions from The Clarity Course Series survey. “I don’t even know where to start … I know very little about technology and the industry. I have so many ideas and interests it is hard to choose where to start.” “What if I don’t know what I really want?” Sometimes, our not-knowing is legitimate. We need to ...
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Do You Risk Reaching Out?

Have you ever received an invitation that made your heart say YES before your mind could even catch up? Ever had such a strong gut feeling that you needed to be at this exact place, doing this exact thing? That’s how I felt when I was asked to give the keynote speech at this year’s Heart of L’Arche Fundraising Breakfast in Arlington, Virginia on April 25, 2018. Titled, “Risk Reaching Out,” this talk was part of a program that helped raise over $135,000 to support the L’Arche Greater Washington DC community. L’Arche is a worldwide nonprofit that creates homes where ...
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6 Ways to Get Rid of Perfectionism Even When Excuses Abound

“How did you start to get rid of perfectionism and make the steps to become an author? How did you transition from living your “past life” to the life you have now?” Here’s what I know: Perfectionism is fancied-up fear. To paraphrase Liz Gilbert in Big Magic, it’s fear in a fur coat. Perfectionism may seem classy and high-functioning, but deep down it’s just you being afraid. How to overcome fear in four words? Ground yourself in love. That’s the larger principle, but what does it look like to LIVE that truth, day in and day out? Here are a ...
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When You’re Scared to Try, Remember This

Have you ever felt the desire to take a shot at something new – a job, a relationship, a dream – but then automatically shut yourself down? Ever told yourself, I’m not good enough or It’s too hard; I’ll never figure it out, so why bother…? If you’re scared to try, then I have a video story just for you. …
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True Recovering Perfectionist? Then Press Play!

“We fear losing other people’s approval. We’re so scared of that, that’s so terrifying to us! But what actually hurts a lot more is when we completely reject ourselves.” This is a quote from my recent appearance on Claire Barton’s podcast, in an episode titled True Recovering Perfectionist. …
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The Theology of Audrey Hepburn and Pippin the Deer

Recently I was at a medical appointment and the nurse asked me about my religious affiliation. The question took me aback, in part because I wasn’t expecting it and in part because I didn’t know how to answer it. How could I be honest and also fit my answer into a box on the intake form? The words stuck in my throat. …
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Want To Feel Less Anxious? Reconnect with Your Inner Child

Dear friend, it’s hard to admit that anxiety is a struggle for you, isn’t it? Your experience of life has been tense and fraught for so long that it seems normal. You want to feel less anxious, but it seems like an impossible dream. I get it, I really do. I started twirling my hair compulsively when I was in kindergarten. At school there were so many things to learn, so many people to please. When all of that felt hard to handle, I’d wrap strands of my brown hair around my fingers. I’d twirl my hair up tight and ...
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Can’t Stop Striving? Your Free Perfectionist Recovery Toolkit Is Here!

I knew I was a perfectionist the day I got into a car crash on the way to high school. The accident totaled our family’s pretty blue Chrysler Concorde, and I wasn’t in great shape either. Thankfully I didn’t sustain significant physical injuries, but I was hyperventilating, trembling, and generally traumatized. Still, my tears were barely dry when I insisted on going straight to school. Why? Well, I thought that since I’d already screwed up by getting into the accident and missing two classes, taking a day off was out of the question. Though I would never have asked a ...
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Writing as a Road to Healing: You Need to Read with Addie Zierman (Plus a Night Driving Book Giveaway!)

“Begin not where you think you should be or with what you ought to feel. Begin where you are.” That’s the healing invitation extended by our next guest in the You Need to Read video interview series, Addie Zierman! Addie is one of my all-time favorite writers. She’s the author of two rave-reviewed memoirs about letting go of religious baggage and walking her own faith journey, When We Were on Fire and Night Driving. She’s also a speaker and a blogger who writes about faith reimagined at AddieZierman.com and she writes the “Ask Addie” advice column at Off the Page. ...
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Boundaries are a Girl’s Best Friend

If your energy is dragging and you need a boost, here’s my favorite trick: Set some boundaries on your time and attention. Step away from something that doesn’t feel right for you and put your focus elsewhere. This can be terrifying in theory, but when you actually do it? What a rush! This practice has the power to increase your energy like you wouldn’t believe. …
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