Get Outta Here, Guilt: Staying Close While Saying Goodbye
Here's my theory: moving is like throwing a stone over the lake of your life -- eventually, the ripples reach to every part of the water. I arrived at this idea as I talked with my mom this week. In the course of conversation, she said, "Your brother keeps forgetting to say "Alabama" instead of, "Washington, DC" when he prays." Every night at supper, Willie prays: "Thank you God for heaven and for prayers, and for food, and for my sister Caroline and Jonathan in Washington, DC ... " Remembering this, I felt a sinking sense of guilt; not only...
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The Rumors are True: On Moving 750+ Miles Away, Seeing Past the Surface of Special Needs, and Having a Hand to Hold
Yes, it's really happening: my husband Jonathan and I are relocating from Washington DC to a small town in Alabama this week. Soon, we'll be on the road, with everything in transit, everything in flux. For a couple who likes their daily routines, this is a destabilizing prospect. It's a bittersweet ending, but it's also a beginning. A new adventure is held out to us, and we're reaching to grasp it. Even as one life seems to slip away, another is on the horizon, fast drawing near. Even as I'm hugging old friends goodbye, an invisible hand seems to be...
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For You, When You Can’t See the Silver Lining: A Tale of Serenades, Special Needs, and the Best Surprise of All
Of all the surprises that my birthday held, the one I least expected was a stranger's serenade. Naturally, this requires an explanation. The week before my birthday, I'd dropped off my well-loved boots at a local shoe-repair shop to be re-soled. These boots have been my go-to footwear for two and a half years, ever since I acquired them during a freezing-cold vacation for which I was ill-prepared. (19 degrees in Alabama? When does that happen?) So, when the soles of the boots opened into holes, I determined that my friend Roberto would be the one to rescue them. Roberto...
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100 Posts on Disability, Caregiving, and Courage (and Why We Fear Public Speaking More than Death)
I stare down at the small pile before me: an outline of my talk (8 pages long), 2 books to read from, and 1 cough drop, just in case things get desperate. This is it, I think. There's no going back now. I'm standing in front of a small audience at St. Francis of Assisi church, about to give a talk entitled, "Not A Burden, but a Privilege: Ministry Alongside People with Special Needs." And boy oh boy, am I nervous. I try not to think about the camera filming me, or the raw ache in my throat that had...
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Our Bold, Not-So-Secret Mission: A Place at the Table
I resisted the siren song of sleep and got up when my alarm clock chirped. (I have a clock that allows you to wake up to things like 'Rainforest Sounds' or 'Birds Chirping'. My husband loves to make fun of it.) I dressed quickly, and sprinted to catch the bus downtown. I was heading to the fifth annual Heart of L'Arche Breakfast at the Mayflower Hotel, and I did not want to be late. I've been a part of L'Arche since the Breakfast began, and I've never missed one. This year's event held particular poignance, since my husband and I...
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What You’re Going Through Is What You Have to Give: Confessions from a (Reluctant) Reframer
It's confession time. Confession #1: I've spent the last twenty minutes checking Facebook and Twitter, in a last-ditch attempt to procrastinate writing this post. Confession #2: This our ninety-sixth (96th!) post here at A Wish Come Clear. You'd think I'd be over feeling insecure about sharing my life stories in this way, but no. Vulnerability packs a punch. Every. Single. Time. Confession #3: For the last four weeks, I have not felt like myself. I had what I thought was the flu last month, but I've not been able to bounce back from it. And then the telltale spots appeared....
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Hoping Against Hope, Lighting It Up Blue: World Autism Awareness Day
This past week, I experienced a new kind of homecoming. My family had the joy of being together, but we also had the sorrow of my brother Willie's outbursts. For the first time in a long time, he had multiple instances of out-of-control aggression in the span of a week. As such, World Autism Awareness Day is tinged with pain for me. It's the grief of watching my parents incur injuries as they try to protect their son from self-harm. It's the powerlessness of wanting to help and not knowing how. Most of all, it's the sound of Willie's weeping...
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Why I Am Not Afraid of Having A Child with Autism
When I'm feeling out of sorts or uninspired, my favorite remedy is to go for a long walk. Such was the case this weekend, when I found myself stressed on Saturday morning. So, I headed out the door. After a mile of walking, I felt myself starting to smile. The tension within abated as I noticed the beauty around me. Blooming flowers, fluttering birds, blue skies ... all worked together to move my mind from anxiety to appreciation. As I walked through Rock Creek Park, I felt the noise within quieting down. And in the newfound quiet, I remembered a...
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My Brother is the Biter: On Smashing Guitars, Owning Hard Truths, and Coming Through with Love: Guest Post on Autism Home Rescue
Readers, I'm happy to share that I have a guest post running today! (The 2nd guest posting has been postponed.) My Brother is the Biter: On Smashing Guitars, Owning Hard Truths, and Coming Through with Love is on Autism Home Rescue. Thank you, Cathy, for allowing me to guest on your site! It's been a pleasure to connect with you and your community. Welcome to A Wish Come Clear, readers from Autism Home Rescue! This Valentine's Day, I'd like to invite you to consider giving yourself the gift of posts via email. When you do, you'll also receive a copy...
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The Delivery That Changed My Life (And The Book That Could Change Yours)
Last week, I found a small, brown package propped up against the door to our apartment. I didn't have to pick it up to know what it was; in fact, once I did pick it up, I set it carefully on our coffee table and proceeded to ignore it for several hours. (Perhaps ignore doesn't quite capture it. Tiptoe around it like the elephant in the room is much more accurate.) The proof copy of Love's Subversive Stance had arrived, and somehow, I wasn't quite ready to open it. And then, hours later, I was. Slowly, I cut...
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