When a People-Pleaser Decides to (Gasp) Tell the Truth
The note reads, "Caroline possesses a respectably expansive vocabulary." Intellectual assent is easy. Being people of peace? Shifting from self-blame and people-pleasing to compassion and honesty? Sure thing. But putting these things into practice when we're angry and upset? That's another story. Luckily, life continually offers us opportunities to learn ... which are often disguised as conflicts. *** My dear friend Tam recently lent me a copy of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Nonviolent communication (NVC) is, to quote author Marshall Rosenberg, "a way of communicating that leads us to give from the heart." As I read,...
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Who’s Right In Front Of You?
When I first saw her, she was striding across Connecticut Avenue. Not in a crosswalk, mind you ... in the middle of the road. She had bright blond hair and a dark tan, and she was walking across what DC residents know is a very, very busy street. At rush hour. With a pronounced limp. In fact, she seemed to be almost dragging her right leg. Cars honked their horns, stopping abruptly to avoid her. Still, she carried on. Busy DC street.Locals will recognize this as 14th St NW, not Connecticut Ave NW. Both are, of course, quite busy.Photo...
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Are You ‘Silent About Things That Matter’?
I celebrated Valentine's Day by doing something I've never done before: calling animal control. It all began when I started learning to drive our stick-shift truck. During 'driving practice', I'd have (metaphorical) blinders on. It was me against the truck, and the battle demanded every bit of my focus. Meet Curley, the sweet puppy I grew up with. Gradually, I started looking around as I drove. When I did, I noticed an elegant German Shepherd with mournful eyes. She'd bark at me, but I could tell her heart wasn't in it. She was chained to a tree. She...
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In a Dark Time, Do You Dare to Welcome the Stranger?
About a year ago, I encountered a few words that changed my life. When we first met as roommates, we weren't sure we had a thing in common. Nearly 10 years later, her friendship is a treasure. You know what I mean -- it's the moment when a lyric from a song or a verse from a poem suddenly shoots right through you. It's that AHA of recognition that comes when you read something and say, "That's it exactly." This happened to me last year when, after leaving a stunning photography exhibition featuring actors and actresses with developmental...
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Why Being Sick Is Awful (And Invaluable)
This past week, I got sick. Flat on my back, barely able to walk to the bathroom. You've been there. I had to cross 4 days off my calendar, disappoint people, field emergency line calls for L'Arche, and deal with how gross I felt from not showering. All of this led to me bursting into tears. Author's note: Said crying took place before Hulu.com allowed me to rediscover a long-lost love for (the early seasons of) 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer.' My inner 13-year-old was thrilled. The entire Season 3! It was all I could do to keep from calling my...
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