After 10 years, we’re done (with martyrdom)

A Wish Come Clear is 10 years old this week. I published the first post on January 16, 2011. To quote Captain Awkward – a fellow 10 year blogging veteran – this makes the blog “1 bajillion years old in blog years.” In hindsight, it’s easy to see that starting the blog was a good choice: It’s now a thriving community with thousands of kindred spirits gathered here. You, dear ones, are the reason that I wrote (and got a book deal for) my forthcoming book, You Don’t Owe Anyone. Yet there were plenty of reasons why it was crazy ...
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The very real pain of not giving up

Dear one, It’s not like you thought it would be, is it? To put it mildly, this past year did not go to plan. It was a reckoning, in every sense of the word. We’ve seen just how tenuous our “normal” is, just how quickly life as we knew it can end. And so perhaps you’re looking ahead to this new year and feeling a strange mixture of terror and anticipation. Will things get worse before they get better? Will COVID be a memory by this time next year? Where are we in the scope of this struggle? Of course, ...
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The Most Likely Way You’ll Take Back Your Time

Having a baby has changed the way I make choices. Time with Baby Girl McGraw is such a big YES for me that it puts every other decision into sharper focus. “Do I want to take on this project?” turns into, “Do I want to trade an hour with our long-awaited little one? Do I want to source childcare for this time? Is it worth it to me?” I’m hooked on the fierce clarity. But the challenge, of course, is to translate thought into action – to LIVE from that place of integrity. Is this something you struggle with, dear ...
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You Need to Hear These 6 Words Today

“Walk like you’re one inch taller.” Dawn, my new physical therapist, was coaching me to walk properly last week. She’s helping me to improve my posture and alignment in order to heal from birth injuries. As you’d imagine, I’m taking this work seriously. I’m on time for every appointment, giving each exercise my all. But those 6 words nearly stopped me in my tracks. The ears of my soul perked up, like a cat at the sound of kibble. That’s what my body feels like when it hears something true; my inner animal snaps to attention. …
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Are You Hiding Behind “I Don’t Know”?

Have you ever spent a day just noticing how many times you hear the phrase I don’t know … ? If so, then you know this to be true: We have a don’t-know epidemic on our hands. To wit, here are a few listener questions from The Clarity Course Series survey. “I don’t even know where to start … I know very little about technology and the industry. I have so many ideas and interests it is hard to choose where to start.” “What if I don’t know what I really want?” Sometimes, our not-knowing is legitimate. We need to ...
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You Have Got To Reach

Once upon a time, I spoke to a woman who said, “I don’t feel adequate enough to talk to you.” How’s that for an opening? This woman had reasons to feel less-than, stuck, and scared. To protect her privacy, I won’t share those reasons here. It suffices to say that she had a tough history. She dreamed of helping other people, but struggled to help herself. When I encouraged her to get support for her journey, she made an effort and asked for help once. But when she didn’t hear back, she stopped asking. …
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Make Decisions, Save Your Life

Even though I was scared, my coach challenged me to do it, so I did. What’s that, you say? I recorded a new, vulnerable video for you. It’s based on questions I received via The Clarity Course survey … “I want to trust my decisions, but I always see both sides (take the opportunity or don’t take). Is there a process that I can go through that will make decision making easier?” “Best advice for someone who is struggling with the fear of uncertainty in making decisions?” …
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Go To The Limits Of Your Longing

Who am I to think I can do this? That’s the thought that thrummed through my brain as I took the call. I was on the phone with a coach I wanted to hire, and let’s be real: I was totally anxious about it. Sure, I’d scoured her website and watched tons of her videos. I believed that she could help me to get to my dream of building my readership and a new business too. But I was about to take action on this “crazy” idea, and it brought up ALL my stuff. …
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Do You Risk Reaching Out?

Have you ever received an invitation that made your heart say YES before your mind could even catch up? Ever had such a strong gut feeling that you needed to be at this exact place, doing this exact thing? That’s how I felt when I was asked to give the keynote speech at this year’s Heart of L’Arche Fundraising Breakfast in Arlington, Virginia on April 25, 2018. Titled, “Risk Reaching Out,” this talk was part of a program that helped raise over $135,000 to support the L’Arche Greater Washington DC community. L’Arche is a worldwide nonprofit that creates homes where ...
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When You’re Scared to Try, Remember This

Have you ever felt the desire to take a shot at something new – a job, a relationship, a dream – but then automatically shut yourself down? Ever told yourself, I’m not good enough or It’s too hard; I’ll never figure it out, so why bother…? If you’re scared to try, then I have a video story just for you. …
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