“The Conditions Are Always Impossible.”
Have you ever had the experience of reading a quote that just gets under your skin and will not leave you alone? Ever read a few words and had that shivery feeling of truth spoken directly to your spirit? This is the Doris Lessing quote that’s been following me around lately: “Whatever you’re meant to do, do it now. The conditions are always impossible.” Amen to that, right? That quote has helped me so much. Since I read it, I stopped procrastinating and started writing my next book. Now, I had all kinds of reasons why the conditions were “impossible”...
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Eat Enough, Sleep Enough, and Choose to be Happy
My friend’s seven year old son struggles with anxiety and feels life very deeply. So his dad developed this mantra to help him remember the basics: “We’re going to eat enough, We’re going to sleep enough, And we’re going to choose to be happy.” …
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How Do I Trust Myself and My Inner Knowing? (Ask Caroline Videos)
“How can I learn to trust my inner voice and make my decisions based on it, no matter how odd or messy or random they look at the time?” That’s just one of the powerful questions posed in The Confidence Course survey earlier this year. As I read through dozens of responses, I felt motivated to answer and help. In this new “Ask Caroline” video series, I’m responding to your questions and coaching you toward greater clarity. Recovering perfectionists like us struggle to trust the apparent messiness of our intuition and the apparent randomness of our learning process. In this...
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It’s Me Who Decides.
Real talk: Are you getting where you want to go in life? Are you putting your foot on the gas pedal, or are you idling? These are hard questions to ask – I get that. But they’re also really important. You’re the one in the driver’s seat. Falling asleep at the wheel is dangerous, both literally and metaphorically. But being awake, alert, and active? That can save a life. …
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When You’re Feeling Lost, Walk The Beauty Way (Our Seven-Year Anniversary)
We all know how it goes. We wake up in the morning, and from the moment we open our eyes, something feels “off”. There’s a barrage of anxious thoughts about work and laundry and that text we forgot to respond to yesterday. Where did these thoughts come from? Why are they slamming us now, before our feet even touch the floor? We don’t know. We just know that there’s already a feeling of dread within, and we haven’t even looked at our email or news feed yet. We feel lost and afraid; what can we do to bring even the...
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Defeat Self-Doubt, Trade Perfectionism for Possibility, and Live Your Dreams
When we were younger, we really felt it, didn’t we? And by “it”, of course, I mean life. Once upon a time, we had big feelings about everything from our birthdays to our breakfast cereals. We felt intensely; we threw our whole hearts into songs, books, and best friendships. I’m not saying that living this way was easy. There were tears and temper tantrums; there were moments when our bodies could barely hold the force of our emotions. It was hard, but it was real, no-holds-barred living. …
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The Theology of Audrey Hepburn and Pippin the Deer
Recently I was at a medical appointment and the nurse asked me about my religious affiliation. The question took me aback, in part because I wasn’t expecting it and in part because I didn’t know how to answer it. How could I be honest and also fit my answer into a box on the intake form? The words stuck in my throat. …
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For the Ones Who Hide Away When They’re Struggling
“Hi friend, how are you doing today? Thinking of you and sending love your way.” I press send on the text, then click my phone screen off. I know better than to expect an immediate response from friends who hide away when they’re struggling. My friend deals with depression and anxiety, and I know that this is a challenging time for her. I also know that when things get tough she tends to go dark. Still I send the message and the love anyway. I pray that it can help her to defy the voices that tell her that she’s...
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Can’t Stop Striving? Your Free Perfectionist Recovery Toolkit Is Here!
I knew I was a perfectionist the day I got into a car crash on the way to high school. The accident totaled our family’s pretty blue Chrysler Concorde, and I wasn’t in great shape either. Thankfully I didn’t sustain significant physical injuries, but I was hyperventilating, trembling, and generally traumatized. Still, my tears were barely dry when I insisted on going straight to school. Why? Well, I thought that since I’d already screwed up by getting into the accident and missing two classes, taking a day off was out of the question. Though I would never have asked a...
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How to Protect Your Energy: 3 Unconventional Tips
Have you ever woken up one day and realized that panic mode and pure exhaustion have become your default settings? If you’ve ever Googled, “How to protect your energy” and “Tired of being tired” and “How to set boundaries” … then you are not alone. I’ve been there, so I understand how hard it can be to feel hopeful. The good news is, you don’t have to stay in that drained, depleted place. …
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