Trying to Learn, Seeking to Love? Start Small. Always.
A mosquito lands on my leg, and I swat it away. I'm in our front yard, pulling weeds with my husband, Jonathan, and trying to understand my own confusion. It's the perfect time of day to be outside, just before the sun sets in our small town in Alabama. As I pull out the roots, I'm thinking about the conversation I just had with my mom and my brother Willie. I'm thinking about how, for all the knowledge we as humans have gained, there are still so many things we don't know. For example, we don't know precisely why one...
Read More
Get Outta Here, Guilt: Staying Close While Saying Goodbye
Here's my theory: moving is like throwing a stone over the lake of your life -- eventually, the ripples reach to every part of the water. I arrived at this idea as I talked with my mom this week. In the course of conversation, she said, "Your brother keeps forgetting to say "Alabama" instead of, "Washington, DC" when he prays." Every night at supper, Willie prays: "Thank you God for heaven and for prayers, and for food, and for my sister Caroline and Jonathan in Washington, DC ... " Remembering this, I felt a sinking sense of guilt; not only...
Read More
Breaking News: Your Birthday is a Big Deal (As Are You).
In my book, a birthday is a Big Deal. I realize that this may make me sound a bit naive or child-like. After all, isn’t making a fuss over birthdays something you’re supposed to, well, outgrow? Many of us claim to have outgrown birthdays, but I don't think that's true. It's more that we've metered our expectations. We've lived long enough to know that many celebrations don't turn out as planned, that high expectations are a setup for disappointment. We've had friends and family members forget our special day, and, in turn, we've forgotten the special days of others. We've...
Read More
My Brother is the Biter: On Smashing Guitars, Owning Hard Truths, and Coming Through with Love: Guest Post on Autism Home Rescue
Readers, I'm happy to share that I have a guest post running today! (The 2nd guest posting has been postponed.) My Brother is the Biter: On Smashing Guitars, Owning Hard Truths, and Coming Through with Love is on Autism Home Rescue. Thank you, Cathy, for allowing me to guest on your site! It's been a pleasure to connect with you and your community. Welcome to A Wish Come Clear, readers from Autism Home Rescue! This Valentine's Day, I'd like to invite you to consider giving yourself the gift of posts via email. When you do, you'll also receive a copy...
Read More
How To Find Contentment in the (Painful, Crazy, Joyous) Present Moment
Have you ever looked at a photograph and thought, What a window into another world ? That's how I feel when I see this picture of my friends Gene and Allison, snapped at a L'Arche dance in July 2007. At the time, I'd been at L'Arche just over a month, and so, though we liked each other immediately, we were all relative strangers then. When I look at this picture now, I take in the bright colors, the glad energy, the happy smiles. I take it all in, thinking, "God, we had no idea what was coming." We didn't know how...
Read More
Death, Empowerment, and How To Make Your Grandpa Proud: Thoughts on A Wish Come Clear’s Anniversary
There's a great deal of power in having someone believe in your dreams. The path to following my dream of becoming a full-time writer is filled with people who believed in me. From my grade-school teachers (who thought I had a gift for writing) to my parents (who took me to 6am skating practice, helped me get to Vassar, and so much more), to my friends and readers here (who have brought stories, help, and support to every post) to my husband (whose technical and emotional support have been invaluable) ... I could not have done any of this without...
Read More
Feeling Uncomfortable, Unwelcome, Unprepared? Good News: You’re Not Alone.
Once upon a Christmas, Pedro* and I set off for church. I'm spending the holiday with L'Arche in part to get a chance to see my husband (whose holiday schedule has him sharing time for up to 13 hours a day) and in part because the L'Arche members are a part of my family. I've spent my last five Christmases with them, so when my friend Pedro sets his heart on going to mass at St. Matthew's Cathedral, I open my heart and say yes to accompanying him there. We take a few wrong turns in the labyrinthine parking garage,...
Read More
How to Love Someone Who (For the Moment) Thinks That You’re The Devil
Since it's the holiday season, I think it's only right that I share a story about keeping love alive in a tense time. Because let's be honest -- if you're human, you're probably going to experience at least one moment of stress when it comes to spending time with your loved ones this year. Someone is going to do something or say something that will drive you a little crazy. (Or a lot.) When this happens, how will you respond? Will the difficult experience serve as a gift disguised as a dilemma, actually bringing you closer? Keep these questions in...
Read More
Your Declaration Of Interdependence
Author's Note: There are several Declarations Of Interdependence as of this writing; declarations of religious, racial and environmental interdependence among them. But today, this one's for you. If you enjoy it, please pass it along. Thank you! *** In honor of the holiday…no, scratch that. Inspired by the holiday, in honor of one woman, I'm writing a declaration. You see, I worked with a Your Life, Supported! client this week. (I'll call her V.) A bit of background on V: she's the sole caregiver for her son, P, and has been for many years. How did this happen? Years ago,...
Read More
Our First-Ever Survey + Giveaway!
Hello and good morning, readers! (A special welcome to readers from The Caregiver's Voice; I have a short post there today. Does this count as guest post #7-in-a-row? You be the judge...) I must confess: I was in a bit of a blue funk last Friday. (Or maybe it was the mean reds. Points if you can name that reference.) Anyway, I was feeling a little woe-is-me at the end of a long work day. This week of guest posting (an honor thought it's been!) hasn't brought the kind of growth I'd hoped for. And so I was doubting, weakening....
Read More
