To the Writer Who is Just Starting Out
To the writer who is just starting out: before we talk about blogging or book deals, let me tell you a story about Maroon 5. One of my closest friends from Vassar once told me about how he saw Maroon 5 play before they hit the big-time. It was at a bar in Boston, as I recall. I was quite impressed, because at the time, “Songs About Jane” was everywhere. It played at parties, at my on-campus job, on my roommate’s computer. Maroon 5 was a big deal then, and they’ve become a bigger deal since. But the people in...
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Stop Rushing and Start Living (Even If You Prize Productivity)
This morning, I find myself wanting to stop rushing and do just this: to sit on the sofa and stare out the window. Sacred dawdling, as Sue Monk Kidd calls it. When I first read those words, I thought, Dawdling as sacred? Really? But it is sacred, because it is an act of faith. To stop my work, be unproductive, and simply look out into the new day … this requires trust. When I do this, I feel as though I am coming close to a subversive act. To sit around? On a Thursday morning at 10am, when I should...
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One Question To Ask When the Going Gets Tough
On my first day of kindergarten, my mom gave me some advice. She told me what her mother told her on the first day of school: when you walk through the doors, don’t worry about making friends. Just focus on finding the girl who looks even more upset about all this than you do. Go over to her and say hello. Smile. Then, you’ll have a friend. My five-year-old-self was incredulous. Could it be that simple? With a little prompting, I gave it a shot. I walked up to a weeping girl and said, “Hi, I’m Caroline. What’s your name?”...
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Don’t Hold Those Coins So Tightly, I Beg of You: A Story
I’ll tell you upfront: this is not my proudest moment. No, far from it. It’s been over ten years, but if I try I can still summon back the anxiety, the scarcity, and the fear that flared through my mind. Picture this: I am seated at an outdoor café table with my three closest friends. Our backpacking trip is coming to a close, and we’ve just finished a meal of savory crepes in a small village in France. I love this place because it reminds me of Belle’s village in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, and also because the crepes...
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Get Rid of Superwoman Syndrome Once and for All
When it comes to what happened the other day, I have choices. I can forget it, beat myself up for having superwoman syndrome, or learn from it. Usually I elect a combination of forgetfulness and self-flagellation, but now, I’m going to go with learning. Here’s what happened: I spent a day in a haze of stress, flitting from one administrative task to another. I didn’t prioritize creative writing. By the end I was sprawled on the couch, back aching from hours of sitting, eyes strained from staring at the computer. What I found especially frustrating was that I know better....
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The Momastery Guest Post (Seriously, Bring Champagne)
This is a big day. My guest post, What We Have Left: A Letter, is live at Momastery. It's a break out the kazoos, call a babysitter, and uncork the champagne!!! kind of day. (Or it would be if I had kazoos, or children, or champagne on hand ... ) Momastery, created by Glennon Melton, "is where we practice living bigger, bolder, and truer on this earth. Where we remember what we already know: We can do hard things, love wins, and we belong to each other." How do Momastery readers ("Monkees") do this? Through sharing stories, telling truths, and...
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We Don’t Have to Waste Away
So I've been thinking about this one episode of Oprah's Life Class. Now, I've only ever seen this one episode, but it's a really good one, because Martha Beck is on. The topic? “The Truth Will Set You Free.” My favorite part (at the 25-minute mark) features a lovely woman named Heather. Heather's terrified to talk with her mom about a taboo topic, namely, the truth about Heather's father. Heather's afraid that doing so will jeopardize their relationship. Martha asks, “So you say you have a relationship with your mother?” Heather, confused: “Yes, we talk on the phone all the...
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“Please Don’t Go Crazy If I Tell You The Truth.”
Have you ever heard the Snow Patrol song How to Be Dead? Snow Patrol, 2004 It's about an intense conversation (read: a fight) between two people, one of whom is on drugs. They're trying to work things out, but control issues and lies are getting in the way. The song's opening line is, “Please don't go crazy if I tell you the truth.” This line haunts me, and I suspect it haunts all of us people-pleasers. And you know why, right? Because it's the plea of our hearts. It's what we would say if only we had the...
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Getting to Know You (& What You Didn’t Know About Me)
Dear readers, I'd like to get to know you better. I've been posting here for nearly three years now (!), and I love writing to you. So I'd like to say thank you, and hear more about you. Would you leave a comment on this post, or send me an email? Just something simple. Your name, how you came to be here, why you read A Wish Come Clear. If you want to go deeper: what's going on in your life? What weighs on your heart? What do you dream about? What do you wish you could talk about, but...
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In My Arms: A Guest Post by Gillian Marchenko
Happy Holiday, friends! Today, we're opening our doors to a guest. It's my pleasure to introduce Gillian Marchenko. (Her tagline: "The world is full of people who seem to have it all together ... Gillian speaks for the rest of us.") She's an author and national speaker who lives in Chicago with her husband Sergei and four daughters. Gillian writes about "stumbling faith, Down syndrome, adoption, depression, motherhood, and lots of grace." I shared a guest post on Gillian's blog earlier this year ("The Most Beautiful and Terrible of Promises, Lessons Learned from my Brother with Autism"), and I'm happy...
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