One Question To Ask When the Going Gets Tough
On my first day of kindergarten, my mom gave me some advice. She told me what her mother told her on the first day of school: when you walk through the doors, don’t worry about making friends. Just focus on finding the girl who looks even more upset about all this than you do. Go over to her and say hello. Smile. Then, you’ll have a friend. My five-year-old-self was incredulous. Could it be that simple? With a little prompting, I gave it a shot. I walked up to a weeping girl and said, “Hi, I’m Caroline. What’s your name?”...
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Get Rid of Superwoman Syndrome Once and for All
When it comes to what happened the other day, I have choices. I can forget it, beat myself up for having superwoman syndrome, or learn from it. Usually I elect a combination of forgetfulness and self-flagellation, but now, I’m going to go with learning. Here’s what happened: I spent a day in a haze of stress, flitting from one administrative task to another. I didn’t prioritize creative writing. By the end I was sprawled on the couch, back aching from hours of sitting, eyes strained from staring at the computer. What I found especially frustrating was that I know better....
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In My Arms: A Guest Post by Gillian Marchenko
Happy Holiday, friends! Today, we're opening our doors to a guest. It's my pleasure to introduce Gillian Marchenko. (Her tagline: "The world is full of people who seem to have it all together ... Gillian speaks for the rest of us.") She's an author and national speaker who lives in Chicago with her husband Sergei and four daughters. Gillian writes about "stumbling faith, Down syndrome, adoption, depression, motherhood, and lots of grace." I shared a guest post on Gillian's blog earlier this year ("The Most Beautiful and Terrible of Promises, Lessons Learned from my Brother with Autism"), and I'm happy...
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Coming Home: The Liberation I Found at L’Arche
Happy Memorial Day, U.S. readers! This article was originally published in America, February 11, 2013, and is reprinted with the permission of America Press, Inc., americamagazine.org. I remember exactly where I was standing. It was in a small hallway at a L’Arche home in Washington, D.C., when I met my friend and housemate Pedro. At the time, I was visiting L’Arche for a series of interviews. I had not yet received an official job offer, but even so, I knew that I would be coming to live and work there. I could feel it in my bones; this was where...
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Are You ‘Silent About Things That Matter’?
I celebrated Valentine's Day by doing something I've never done before: calling animal control. It all began when I started learning to drive our stick-shift truck. During 'driving practice', I'd have (metaphorical) blinders on. It was me against the truck, and the battle demanded every bit of my focus. Meet Curley, the sweet puppy I grew up with. Gradually, I started looking around as I drove. When I did, I noticed an elegant German Shepherd with mournful eyes. She'd bark at me, but I could tell her heart wasn't in it. She was chained to a tree. She...
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School Lunches (and the Path of Liberation)
In Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott says that, if you're not sure what to write, you can start with school lunches. And so today I am remembering the sound of crinkling brown bags, and the insecurity of youth. Lunch was a litmus test. Would you fit in? Were you acceptable? Lunchtime at Vassar (much less stress) I remember being harangued in elementary school having whole-grain bread on my sandwiches when white bread was all the rage. One girl would say, "Ew, what are those weird things in your bread? Are they bugs?!" She was referring to sunflower seeds,...
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The Dance of Disconnection (And Some New Moves)
You’ve probably had this happen to you. Coffee & connections, 2012. Photo Credit: Sarah Bayot You see a person you love after an extended time apart. It's wonderful to reunite. You feel so fortunate to have this friendship; you’re sure you’ll keep in touch. And then you go home, back to your everyday life, and you don’t call them for months. This isn’t something you do on purpose. It’s just that one day you wake up and realize that you're disconnected, despite your good intentions. At this point, you have a few options. You can: A) Shrug off...
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Launch Day: I Was a Stranger to Beauty is Here!
Oh, happy day! Thanks to ThinkPiece Publishing, my new Kindle Single* is here! It's titled I Was a Stranger to Beauty: A Story of Special Needs, Simplicity, My Brother Willie, My Friend Miguel and A New Way of Seeing the World. (I'm fortunate to have a fantastic publisher who shares my affinity for ridiculously lengthy subtitles.) *If you don't have a Kindle, don't worry! You can read Kindle books with Amazon's (free) Kindle Cloud Reader. If you have Amazon Prime, you can also borrow the book through Amazon's Lending Library. *** This book is the story of a family moving...
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When You’re Not Sure What’s Most Important: A Course in Priorities, Courtesy of John Franklin Stephens & Tim Shriver
Reading at L'Arche I settled down at my desk to start my workday, plunging into administrative tasks. Deep down, I knew that this wasn't the best idea, but I didn't feel like writing. I didn't have any 'good' ideas. But then I started feeling guilty. Why hadn't I called my friends in the Northeast, where Hurricane Sandy hit? Granted, I knew they were safe, but I wanted to hear their voices. So I made a few calls. But then I felt guilty that I wasn't getting work done. I thought, My inner perfectionist is having a field day...
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Make the Call, Take the Nap: Your Body is Worth it
Caring for your body isn't as simple as the magazines make it out to be. The choice to care for your physical self can be very difficult. For example, if you're parenting young children, caring for an aged parent, or managing an ongoing crisis, giving care to your body might seem impossible given what you need to do for others. But at other times -- even in the midst of such challenges -- self-care isn’t impeded by visible roadblocks. Sometimes you have every opportunity to take a nap or go to a yoga class … and you just don’t. There’s...
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