What To Do When ‘The Less-Thans’ Strike (Hint: Do Not ‘Try Harder’)
Feeling less-than? You get the thumbs-up from me. "Sometimes, I feel like such a failure," my friend confided. "My house doesn't look as clean as my friends' houses do. I have a job, and two children under the age of three. But I think I should be doing a better job keeping the house clean." I wanted to interject, but I had a feeling there was more to the story. She continued, "After feeling that way for so long, do you know what I found out?" "What?" I asked, leaning forward. "Almost all of my friends who have...
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Instructions for Life: ‘Listen to the Rhythm. Don’t Be Scared.’
If you've never seen the movie Strictly Ballroom, I recommend that you remedy this oversight immediately. It’s hard to explain why I love the film. It has something to do with the fairy-tale feeling it evokes, with its over-the-top costumes and generalized insanity. It has something to do with the fact that it’s a family favorite, that I grew up quoting it. But it’s more than that. I love Strictly Ballroom because it’s a story about active rebellion and the gift of doing things differently, getting perspective and attending to the essentials, and celebrating and accepting people as they are....
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What Holds You Up? Or, the Hands that Frame Your Risks
Photo Credit: Ashley Baker I hopped on my bike and started pedaling, determined to arrive on time. I'd left home a little bit late, but I could still make it on time if I tried. Even though I was moving quickly, I savored the crisp autumn morning around me. It was a perfect day for yoga in the park, a donation-based event hosted by Shoals Yoga. As I pulled up to Wilson Park, I heard bells chiming the hour. After locking my bike, I pulled out my yoga mat and joined the other yogis on the grass. Glad...
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Relationships Matter, Not Things: An Interview with Tammy Strobel of RowdyKittens
This week, I'm thrilled to feature an interview with Tammy Strobel of RowdyKittens! (Tagline: Go small, think big & be happy.) RowdyKittens is one of my favorite blogs, because Tammy shares stories of her everyday life and the challenges and joys inherent in her relationships. Our interview focuses on how simplicity connects with cultivating stronger relationships. Tammy talks about the ways in which simplicity played a part in her caregiving journey with her mother and her stepdad, Mahlon. (And yes, Tammy met Bootsie, AWCC's very own rowdy kitten!) We also talk about Tammy's new book, which launched this week to...
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This is Real Love: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Sometimes, your choice to care comes back to bite you. Literally. Sometimes, the choice to welcome a sweet, spunky little kitten into your home -- a choice you made with gladness -- can get you into trouble. Or to put another way: If you're ever in need of a punishment to inflict upon your worst (hypothetical) enemies, here's an idea: Infest their home with fleas. Do this while they're on vacation, so that when they return, travel-weary from, say, 10 hours of driving, they'll be greeted by legions of leaping, ravenous bugs that weren't there when they left. As you've...
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The Caregiver’s Paradox, Or, Treasures of the Incomplete
**Note: A Wish Come Clear will return with new posts on Monday, Sept. 17th!** We are living in an unfinished space here in Alabama, and that comes with challenges. We entered a season of renovation when we arrived in July, and we've accomplished a great deal in just a few weeks. (And by 'we', I mean my husband, who has done the lion's share of the work.) We tore out the entire kitchen, and we're finishing a new one now. Extensive plumbing and electrical work has been required. Any cooking beyond the toaster-oven variety has been impossible, which means we've...
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Commitment Is (Not) For The Birds, Or, Show Up and See What Happens
Sometimes, it's all too much! I'm going to tell you a secret: I don't always feel like showing up to write posts every week. Much as I love to write, sometimes, I just don't feel the love. My mind kicks in with complaints: "Again? Can't I skip it?!" Often, I feel resistance because I'm scared to write about what's most alive in me, but other times, I just want to play hooky from the written word. And I have a feeling that it's true for you, too. It can be hard to summon the dedication it takes to...
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I Wanted To Blend In, But Special Needs Mean Standing Out
She leaned toward me as she said, "I'd always wanted to blend. You know? I never wanted to stand out. And when I had my son, I knew that I would have to lay that down, and it was hard." Photo Credit: Brian Taylor Photography My new friend Kristy was sharing her experience as a mom to a child with special needs, speaking about her challenges in a straightforward, matter-of-fact way. It takes courage to speak one's truth to a (relative) stranger, and I admired her for it. I leaned in, listening. "I know just what you mean,"...
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Get Outta Here, Guilt: Staying Close While Saying Goodbye
Here's my theory: moving is like throwing a stone over the lake of your life -- eventually, the ripples reach to every part of the water. I arrived at this idea as I talked with my mom this week. In the course of conversation, she said, "Your brother keeps forgetting to say "Alabama" instead of, "Washington, DC" when he prays." Every night at supper, Willie prays: "Thank you God for heaven and for prayers, and for food, and for my sister Caroline and Jonathan in Washington, DC ... " Remembering this, I felt a sinking sense of guilt; not only...
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Breaking News: Your Birthday is a Big Deal (As Are You).
In my book, a birthday is a Big Deal. I realize that this may make me sound a bit naive or child-like. After all, isn’t making a fuss over birthdays something you’re supposed to, well, outgrow? Many of us claim to have outgrown birthdays, but I don't think that's true. It's more that we've metered our expectations. We've lived long enough to know that many celebrations don't turn out as planned, that high expectations are a setup for disappointment. We've had friends and family members forget our special day, and, in turn, we've forgotten the special days of others. We've...
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