For the Ones Who Hide Away When They’re Struggling

“Hi friend, how are you doing today? Thinking of you and sending love your way.”

I press send on the text, then click my phone screen off. I know better than to expect an immediate response from friends who hide away when they’re struggling.

My friend deals with depression and anxiety, and I know that this is a challenging time for her. I also know that when things get tough she tends to go dark.

Still I send the message and the love anyway. I pray that it can help her to defy the voices that tell her that she’s a bad friend, that she’s just bringing everybody down, that nobody cares.

Sure, sometimes her virtual disappearances get frustrating, but I know that that’s because I do the same.

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Do You Know What Keeps You From Thriving?

Have you ever had a friend make you a generous offer that you couldn’t accept … even though you wanted to? Have you ever stopped to realize that this is what keeps you from thriving?

Well, I have. This past week, I’ve been dealing with some health issues, and when my friend Laura found out, she offered to bring me chicken soup.

what keeps you from thriving

My first thought was that that sounded like exactly what I needed. My next thought, however, was that I shouldn’t accept.

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Terror, Triumph, and Taking the Stage: Lessons from TEDxBirminghamSalon

Friends, a funny thing happened when I started writing about what it was like to speak at TEDxBirmingham: I kept using plural pronouns. I kept writing, “We traveled, we spoke.”

Don’t worry, there’s a simpler explanation than schizophrenia. I wrote in the plural because I felt your excitement and encouragement as a tangible presence at TEDxBirmingham, and I cannot thank you enough for that.

Plus, you helped me choose my topic; I based the talk around this post. Your thoughtful responses galvanized me to write and speak about our shared struggle with perfectionism. I’ll post the text of the talk within the next few weeks, along with the forthcoming video. Until then, here’s what I learned.

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