You do not have to build the puppy house at bedtime.

“Build a puppy house,” my toddler says to me, and I hesitate. It’s almost her bedtime, and I sense that this will end in tears. “Build a puppy house!” she cries again. She clutches her stuffed puppy – the one I picked out last Christmas – and gives me her best Bambi eyes. I prompt her to say “please,” but we both know: I’m giving in. Much of my time and attention has been redirected to her new baby sister, and I feel guilty about this. And so we sit in the midst of our cardboard “bricks” on the rug. ...
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I just wanted you to know

Hello dear one, Thank you so much for your comments and congratulations on the big news I shared in my last missive! I was – and am – touched. I’m about to start maternity leave, so I’m scheduling emails to go out to you about every 2 weeks this summer. I felt the nudge to send this one today, just in case there is someone reading this who is going through something really hard that does not seem to make any sense at all. If that’s you – honey, I see you. I salute you. And I want you to ...
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Do you always look like you’re fine, even if you’re not?

The thing I try hard to prevent happened again. Someone asked me, “Do you ever have a bad day? You’re so upbeat and positive as a coach. I just wonder … do you ever get really down?” “Yes, of course!” I said. If you’ve read my new book You Don’t Owe Anyone, then you know that anxiety and depression and I go way back. True, I’m proud of how I show up for my readers and coaching clients … and, I have dark days. It’s part of my job to be honest about that. Yet the person who asked follows ...
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What Oprah Told Me

Have you ever had one of those “big-deal” dreams in which you just KNOW that God, the Universe, your higher self, is trying to get a message to you? For a little while last week, I was in a bad place. Partly it was past trauma coming out to play, and partly it was energetic debt. After the high of the You Don’t Owe Anyone book launch, I spent many hours recording the audio book. Recording the book was well worth it, and I cannot wait to share it with you! The audio book is available for preorder now and ...
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The Four Magic Words (You’ll Never Guess)

If you’ve already read my new book, You Don’t Owe Anyone, then you know that I’ve dreamed of becoming a published author ever since I was six years old. When my first grade teacher helped our class make our own hardcover books, I was hooked. She told us that authors were people whose job it was to make books. I thought that nothing could be cooler than that. (My first book, age 6) (My new book, age 35) Fast-forward about 30 years. After decades of diligent reading, writing, and study, that original dream has come true today. You Don’t Owe ...
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Getting It Done Won’t Make You Happier (But This Will)

I’m writing to you from snowy, icy Alabama; it sounds odd just to see those words together, doesn’t it? Our state is not equipped for these conditions. Our kids don’t have snow pants, and our towns don’t have plows. As such, my plans for the week have been upended, and I’ve spent most of the last three days with our 19 month old toddler, who thinks that putting my underwear on her head is a great use of time. (She also enjoys reading in the bathtub.) So, my perspective might be a little wacky. But go with me for a ...
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You Don’t Owe Anyone (No, Really)

Calling all perfectionists, workaholics, people pleasers, and strivers who feel stuck in the try-hard cycle: Isn’t it time to free yourself from the weight of expectations and move forward without apology? You Don’t Owe Anyone will show you how. It's a book about how I realized that actually, I don't owe anybody anything. For years I thought I did. I was world class at being the good girl, the people pleaser, and the super Christian. (I was in a cult, and I was good at it!) The book is about how I got free from all of that, free from ...
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I’m behind, what do I do?

Dear ones, First, thank you so much for the outpouring of support and congratulations you sent after last week’s missive! It’s a delight begin celebrating my book’s upcoming publication with you. As promised, today I’m going to tell you about how to get your hands on a digital advance copy of You Don’t Owe Anyone. But first – let me tell you why I almost didn’t send this missive today. It was partly because of the news from Washington, which is both predictable yet so catastrophically bad that it seems to drown out everything else. But it was also because ...
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The very real pain of not giving up

Dear one, It’s not like you thought it would be, is it? To put it mildly, this past year did not go to plan. It was a reckoning, in every sense of the word. We’ve seen just how tenuous our “normal” is, just how quickly life as we knew it can end. And so perhaps you’re looking ahead to this new year and feeling a strange mixture of terror and anticipation. Will things get worse before they get better? Will COVID be a memory by this time next year? Where are we in the scope of this struggle? Of course, ...
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Good news: You already have confidence and clarity

This week I had one of those “Sliding Doors” moments – when you can see two different choices, two possible futures spinning out in front of you. What happened was that I did a brave thing and signed up for an adult ballet class. I haven’t done ballet in years, but a conversation with a friend spurred me to act. I was proud of myself … For listening to that desire to dance. For staying focused and eagerly accepting corrections from the teacher. For going to someplace I’d never been and dancing with people I’d never met (and alone as ...
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