I’m behind, what do I do?
Dear ones, First, thank you so much for the outpouring of support and congratulations you sent after last week’s missive! It’s a delight begin celebrating my book’s upcoming publication with you. As promised, today I’m going to tell you about how to get your hands on a digital advance copy of You Don’t Owe Anyone. But first – let me tell you why I almost didn’t send this missive today. It was partly because of the news from Washington, which is both predictable yet so catastrophically bad that it seems to drown out everything else. But it was also because...
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The very real pain of not giving up
Dear one, It’s not like you thought it would be, is it? To put it mildly, this past year did not go to plan. It was a reckoning, in every sense of the word. We’ve seen just how tenuous our “normal” is, just how quickly life as we knew it can end. And so perhaps you’re looking ahead to this new year and feeling a strange mixture of terror and anticipation. Will things get worse before they get better? Will COVID be a memory by this time next year? Where are we in the scope of this struggle? Of course,...
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Good news: You already have confidence and clarity
This week I had one of those “Sliding Doors” moments – when you can see two different choices, two possible futures spinning out in front of you. What happened was that I did a brave thing and signed up for an adult ballet class. I haven’t done ballet in years, but a conversation with a friend spurred me to act. I was proud of myself … For listening to that desire to dance. For staying focused and eagerly accepting corrections from the teacher. For going to someplace I’d never been and dancing with people I’d never met (and alone as...
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Don’t give up before the miracle
It’s the end of a seemingly ordinary workday when an email from the senior editor at the publishing house arrives. The subject line is, “Offer of contract coming on Friday.” I gasp. Does this mean what I think it means? I click to open the email, chanting, “Oh my God oh my God oh my God.” It does mean what I think it means. It means that after weeks of waiting and years of work, Broadleaf Books is offering me a book deal. …
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How Does She Do It All?
“How do moms of young kids do it all?” That listener question cracked me up. The simple answer is that they don’t! No one does. The idea of “doing it all” is a myth. Every day, we make trade-offs. If we do this, that means that we don’t do that. So, the question isn’t, “How does she do it all?” Rather, the question is, “What matters most to you, personally? What do you choose, today?” …
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Is It Okay to Want More?
“I am in ambivalence (or in quantum congruence?): I both think I am very happy and satisfied with my life as it is; and at the same time I think that I must serve a better purpose. Which one is true?” I love this listener question from The Clarity Course Series, because goodness knows I’ve struggled with it! Back in 2012, I constantly asked myself, “How can I want to leave my job at L’Arche when I love my friends there so much?” For months, I couldn’t come up with a good answer. …
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I Thought I Needed to Feel Strong (I Was Wrong)
“How do I overcome low self esteem when I don’t really like much about myself? People would say to me when my father was dying, “You’ll be stronger.” Yet I recently got into a verbal disagreement with someone at work, and I was so angry I wanted to cry and it showed. I don’t feel stronger or resilient, why is that? That listener question from The Clarity Course survey spoke right to my heart. So, I recorded this video for her … and for YOU. If you’ve ever thought that you should feel stronger or better than you actually do...
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How Do I Stop Being a Perfectionist?
“How do I stop being a perfectionist? How do you move away from perfectionism?” These are the questions you ask, and on one level the answers are simple. We shift out of perfectionism through daily, real-world action, rewriting our old patterns of behavior and belief. But you’re not just asking for the how-to. You’re asking for the hope. You’re asking, “Is it really possible for us to change?” Let me tell you a story. …
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You Have Got To Reach
Once upon a time, I spoke to a woman who said, “I don’t feel adequate enough to talk to you.” How’s that for an opening? This woman had reasons to feel less-than, stuck, and scared. To protect her privacy, I won’t share those reasons here. It suffices to say that she had a tough history. She dreamed of helping other people, but struggled to help herself. When I encouraged her to get support for her journey, she made an effort and asked for help once. But when she didn’t hear back, she stopped asking. …
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I Never Saw It Coming: A Story of Self-Forgiveness
Something miraculous happened to me recently. The other night, I was typing at my laptop, responding to emails, ordering gifts for friends, and ignoring the drifts of cat fur that grow larger by the day. Nearly a half an hour went by before I stood up and walked toward our kitchen. It was only then that I remembered: I’d left a pot of rice cooking on the stove. “Oh no!” I yelped. “I forgot about the rice! Shoot and sugar muffins!” (If you hang around me long enough, you’ll hear creative alternatives to swear words; it’s a holdover from growing...
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