The Four Magic Words (You’ll Never Guess)

If you’ve already read my new book, You Don’t Owe Anyone, then you know that I’ve dreamed of becoming a published author ever since I was six years old. When my first grade teacher helped our class make our own hardcover books, I was hooked. She told us that authors were people whose job it was to make books. I thought that nothing could be cooler than that. (My first book, age 6) (My new book, age 35) Fast-forward about 30 years. After decades of diligent reading, writing, and study, that original dream has come true today. You Don’t Owe ...
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Getting It Done Won’t Make You Happier (But This Will)

I’m writing to you from snowy, icy Alabama; it sounds odd just to see those words together, doesn’t it? Our state is not equipped for these conditions. Our kids don’t have snow pants, and our towns don’t have plows. As such, my plans for the week have been upended, and I’ve spent most of the last three days with our 19 month old toddler, who thinks that putting my underwear on her head is a great use of time. (She also enjoys reading in the bathtub.) So, my perspective might be a little wacky. But go with me for a ...
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You Don’t Owe Anyone (No, Really)

Calling all perfectionists, workaholics, people pleasers, and strivers who feel stuck in the try-hard cycle: Isn’t it time to free yourself from the weight of expectations and move forward without apology? You Don’t Owe Anyone will show you how. It's a book about how I realized that actually, I don't owe anybody anything. For years I thought I did. I was world class at being the good girl, the people pleaser, and the super Christian. (I was in a cult, and I was good at it!) The book is about how I got free from all of that, free from ...
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Top 25 Answers to YOUR Questions, Revealed

Dear ones, A Wish Come Clear turned 10 years old last week, but most of you reading now have joined us in the last 2 years. As I reviewed your great listener questions from The Pursue Your Path Series, I realized that there are SO MANY buried treasures in the blog archives that effectively answer your questions! So without further ado, here are some of your questions paired with the most popular posts from the past 10 years. …
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After 10 years, we’re done (with martyrdom)

A Wish Come Clear is 10 years old this week. I published the first post on January 16, 2011. To quote Captain Awkward – a fellow 10 year blogging veteran – this makes the blog “1 bajillion years old in blog years.” In hindsight, it’s easy to see that starting the blog was a good choice: It’s now a thriving community with thousands of kindred spirits gathered here. You, dear ones, are the reason that I wrote (and got a book deal for) my forthcoming book, You Don’t Owe Anyone. Yet there were plenty of reasons why it was crazy ...
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I’m behind, what do I do?

Dear ones, First, thank you so much for the outpouring of support and congratulations you sent after last week’s missive! It’s a delight begin celebrating my book’s upcoming publication with you. As promised, today I’m going to tell you about how to get your hands on a digital advance copy of You Don’t Owe Anyone. But first – let me tell you why I almost didn’t send this missive today. It was partly because of the news from Washington, which is both predictable yet so catastrophically bad that it seems to drown out everything else. But it was also because ...
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The very real pain of not giving up

Dear one, It’s not like you thought it would be, is it? To put it mildly, this past year did not go to plan. It was a reckoning, in every sense of the word. We’ve seen just how tenuous our “normal” is, just how quickly life as we knew it can end. And so perhaps you’re looking ahead to this new year and feeling a strange mixture of terror and anticipation. Will things get worse before they get better? Will COVID be a memory by this time next year? Where are we in the scope of this struggle? Of course, ...
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Please tell me we can do better than this

This Sunday morning, I am up before the sun. My toddler daughter and I have breakfast; I clean oatmeal from places I didn’t even know oatmeal could go. Once I corral her into clothes and miniature sneakers, we head out the door. It’s one of those beautiful fall mornings when the sun is warm and the shade is cool. I push our little girl in her stroller, watching her feet kick as we walk in the direction of her favorite park. We pass only a few people; it feels as though the hushed, sunlit town belongs to us. We play ...
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The Most Likely Way You’ll Take Back Your Time

Having a baby has changed the way I make choices. Time with Baby Girl McGraw is such a big YES for me that it puts every other decision into sharper focus. “Do I want to take on this project?” turns into, “Do I want to trade an hour with our long-awaited little one? Do I want to source childcare for this time? Is it worth it to me?” I’m hooked on the fierce clarity. But the challenge, of course, is to translate thought into action – to LIVE from that place of integrity. Is this something you struggle with, dear ...
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If only you knew (what it’s really like to write)

Over a dozen of you wrote to me last week to share how much the missive meant to you. Thank you. As I read message after message, I shook my head and thought, “Wow. If only they knew.” Then I realized that perhaps it’s right that you DO know. The morning I wrote that missive, I did not bounce out of bed with a smile. Like so many other parents in this COVID time, my husband and I have been caring for our baby for 2 months without outside help, while both running our businesses. We’re thankful to have that ...
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