When You Want to Apologize for Existing
“I say ‘I’m sorry’ a LOT, usually when it’s not necessary. I apologize for existing.” “I’m so tired of fighting myself … For the last 17 years I spend my days in service to precious elders and give all that I can, yet inside me I feel like I am never, ever enough. The perfectionist in me doesn’t seem to be silenced.” “I’m so very, very, very tired Caroline! …. I’m at war with myself and know deep down I don’t have to be.”* …
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Completing the Party: Thoughts on Grace
This is the (edited) text of a talk I gave at Living Spirit Church on Sunday, April 28th. Enjoy! Once upon a time in 2008, I was on routine at L'Arche*, feeling downcast. Most of the assistants on our house team were leaving that summer. Yet even as I dreaded saying goodbye, I saw a silver lining: I'd build stronger relationships with those who remained. You can't always get what you want ... I wanted to mark this place and time when I decided against despair. So I asked Theresa** and Cassandra** if they'd like to do...
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Breaking News: Your Birthday is a Big Deal (As Are You).
In my book, a birthday is a Big Deal. I realize that this may make me sound a bit naive or child-like. After all, isn’t making a fuss over birthdays something you’re supposed to, well, outgrow? Many of us claim to have outgrown birthdays, but I don't think that's true. It's more that we've metered our expectations. We've lived long enough to know that many celebrations don't turn out as planned, that high expectations are a setup for disappointment. We've had friends and family members forget our special day, and, in turn, we've forgotten the special days of others. We've...
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Shine On ‘Til Tomorrow (4 Illuminating Questions To Ask Today)
Sometimes, only a Beatles song will do. This being the case, I wanted to offer a soundtrack for this post (connected to the topic, of course.) So, once you've hit play on "Let It Be"... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajCYQL8ouqw ...we can move on to the story. 🙂 I went on a retreat this weekend, and in the final hour we did yoga while "Let It Be" played. We'd been invited to move as we desired. I felt happy, flowing from one pose to another. My practice has grown a lot in the last year. And then this voice started up from within. It...
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