Do You Know What Keeps You From Thriving?
Have you ever had a friend make you a generous offer that you couldn’t accept … even though you wanted to? Have you ever stopped to realize that this is what keeps you from thriving? Well, I have. This past week, I’ve been dealing with some health issues, and when my friend Laura found out, she offered to bring me chicken soup. My first thought was that that sounded like exactly what I needed. My next thought, however, was that I shouldn’t accept. …
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The Only Life You Can Save.
What if the only life you can save is your own? Something happened to friends of mine this past week. I won’t go into detail, because it is not my story to tell. The short version is: People I love are being unjustly excluded. And I’m angry about it. Writing that last sentence is a big deal for me. See, for a long time I was convinced that feeling anger meant that I was a ‘bad’ person, lacking in compassion. And I wanted so much to be (and to be seen as) ‘good’. So whenever anger arose, I tried hard...
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You Have Permission to Walk Out.
Friends, a few quick notes to start: A Wish Come Clear celebrated its four-year blog anniversary on January 16! I had every intention of publishing that day, but life got in the way. In the past week, I’ve faced a host of physical issues. (I’ll spare you the details, but don’t worry, nothing is serious, just unpleasant.) Naturally, I did not appreciate this. Who enjoys letting go of their plans, taking pills, and slowing way down? Not me. However, there is a silver lining. I’ve had practice letting go of judgment and self-blame and choosing kindness, which is a spiritual...
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You Are Meant to Rise Again.
“This is not a competition,” the TEDx organizer told us. “We’re calling this Salon an audition for TEDxBirmingham, but remember that this is your TEDx talk … and one or two of you may be invited to present at the larger event.” I nodded, feeling a blush creep up my cheeks. I’d been caught red-handed, thinking competitive thoughts. Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself that it was a tremendous honor to give one 4-minute TEDx talk. …
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Terror, Triumph, and Taking the Stage: Lessons from TEDxBirminghamSalon
Friends, a funny thing happened when I started writing about what it was like to speak at TEDxBirmingham: I kept using plural pronouns. I kept writing, “We traveled, we spoke.” Don’t worry, there’s a simpler explanation than schizophrenia. I wrote in the plural because I felt your excitement and encouragement as a tangible presence at TEDxBirmingham, and I cannot thank you enough for that. Plus, you helped me choose my topic; I based the talk around this post. Your thoughtful responses galvanized me to write and speak about our shared struggle with perfectionism. I’ll post the text of the talk...
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How to Persevere When Rejections Knock You Down
It’s the moment every writer knows and dreads. When I finally open the email, it’s just as I feared. My essay wasn’t chosen; try again next time. No matter how many times this happens – and for writers and artists, it happens a lot – I still feel a swirl of emotion. Depending on how much I wanted an acceptance, I’m by turns frustrated, disappointed, or angry. If you’ve received such a rejection, then you know the feeling. It’s as though you’ve offered your best wine to an honored guest, only to see them sniff the glass and turn away....
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What Would You Do With No Arms and No Limits?
Have you ever seen someone whose courage just took your breath away? Well, I have; his name is Richie Parker. At the time of this writing, Richie is in his 30s, and he works as an engineer for Hendrick Motorsports. Before I share the rest of the story, though, I have to tell you that this is not the post I had planned for today. But my birthday is coming up; this week, I’ll be 29. And people keep asking if I’m worried about nearing the big 3-0. Part of me understands the anxiety. But another part of me thinks...
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To the Writer Who is Just Starting Out
To the writer who is just starting out: before we talk about blogging or book deals, let me tell you a story about Maroon 5. One of my closest friends from Vassar once told me about how he saw Maroon 5 play before they hit the big-time. It was at a bar in Boston, as I recall. I was quite impressed, because at the time, “Songs About Jane” was everywhere. It played at parties, at my on-campus job, on my roommate’s computer. Maroon 5 was a big deal then, and they’ve become a bigger deal since. But the people in...
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The Momastery Guest Post (Seriously, Bring Champagne)
This is a big day. My guest post, What We Have Left: A Letter, is live at Momastery. It's a break out the kazoos, call a babysitter, and uncork the champagne!!! kind of day. (Or it would be if I had kazoos, or children, or champagne on hand ... ) Momastery, created by Glennon Melton, "is where we practice living bigger, bolder, and truer on this earth. Where we remember what we already know: We can do hard things, love wins, and we belong to each other." How do Momastery readers ("Monkees") do this? Through sharing stories, telling truths, and...
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We Don’t Have to Waste Away
So I've been thinking about this one episode of Oprah's Life Class. Now, I've only ever seen this one episode, but it's a really good one, because Martha Beck is on. The topic? “The Truth Will Set You Free.” My favorite part (at the 25-minute mark) features a lovely woman named Heather. Heather's terrified to talk with her mom about a taboo topic, namely, the truth about Heather's father. Heather's afraid that doing so will jeopardize their relationship. Martha asks, “So you say you have a relationship with your mother?” Heather, confused: “Yes, we talk on the phone all the...
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