How Do I Trust Myself and My Inner Knowing? (Ask Caroline Videos)
“How can I learn to trust my inner voice and make my decisions based on it, no matter how odd or messy or random they look at the time?” That’s just one of the powerful questions posed in The Confidence Course survey earlier this year. As I read through dozens of responses, I felt motivated to answer and help. In this new “Ask Caroline” video series, I’m responding to your questions and coaching you toward greater clarity. Recovering perfectionists like us struggle to trust the apparent messiness of our intuition and the apparent randomness of our learning process. In this...
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6 Ways to Get Rid of Perfectionism Even When Excuses Abound
“How did you start to get rid of perfectionism and make the steps to become an author? How did you transition from living your “past life” to the life you have now?” Here’s what I know: Perfectionism is fancied-up fear. To paraphrase Liz Gilbert in Big Magic, it’s fear in a fur coat. Perfectionism may seem classy and high-functioning, but deep down it’s just you being afraid. How to overcome fear in four words? Ground yourself in love. That’s the larger principle, but what does it look like to LIVE that truth, day in and day out? Here are a...
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You Don’t Have to Be Afraid: Overcoming Perfectionism on Poema
“The irony of overcoming perfectionism is that it’s like playing a video game where you have plenty of lives left, but you’re so scared of getting hurt by anything. And it’s like, ‘Dude, it’s okay! The game has more lives for you!'” This is a quote from my recent guest appearance on James Prescott’s Poema Podcast. I’m not sure why I started speaking like a California surfer – dude! – but I’m so glad to share the recording with you today. …
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When You’re Feeling Lost, Walk The Beauty Way (Our Seven-Year Anniversary)
We all know how it goes. We wake up in the morning, and from the moment we open our eyes, something feels “off”. There’s a barrage of anxious thoughts about work and laundry and that text we forgot to respond to yesterday. Where did these thoughts come from? Why are they slamming us now, before our feet even touch the floor? We don’t know. We just know that there’s already a feeling of dread within, and we haven’t even looked at our email or news feed yet. We feel lost and afraid; what can we do to bring even the...
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When You’re Scared to Try, Remember This
Have you ever felt the desire to take a shot at something new – a job, a relationship, a dream – but then automatically shut yourself down? Ever told yourself, I’m not good enough or It’s too hard; I’ll never figure it out, so why bother…? If you’re scared to try, then I have a video story just for you. …
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What’s Beneath the Busy? I Dare You to Ask.
Truth-time, dear friends: we are really, really good at fooling ourselves. We say that we’re so busy, but what we really mean is that we’re scared to look at what’s beneath the busy. Our frantic activity functions like a drug; it gives us a high and helps us avoid feelings we’re afraid to face. If that’s you, there’s no judgment here. We’re all on this journey together; none of us have it all figured out. …
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Is Your Fantasy Self Wearing You Down? (Guest Post at Miss Minimalist)
You know what’s really tiring, what drains the life out of so many of us each day? The belief that we should be someone we’re not … a fantasy self, if you will. Our fantasy self is the one who will read all of the books in our backlog and cook all of the fancy magazine-style meals. …
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True Recovering Perfectionist? Then Press Play!
“We fear losing other people’s approval. We’re so scared of that, that’s so terrifying to us! But what actually hurts a lot more is when we completely reject ourselves.” This is a quote from my recent appearance on Claire Barton’s podcast, in an episode titled True Recovering Perfectionist. …
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The Theology of Audrey Hepburn and Pippin the Deer
Recently I was at a medical appointment and the nurse asked me about my religious affiliation. The question took me aback, in part because I wasn’t expecting it and in part because I didn’t know how to answer it. How could I be honest and also fit my answer into a box on the intake form? The words stuck in my throat. …
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Put On Your Own Mask First (Yes, You Really Can)
“Nice try,” the counselor said with a kind smile. “But there’s one thing … ” He bent his head to write on my paper, and I frowned. I’d labored over the words of the affirmation, trying hard to get them exactly right. It was one of my first workshops at The Clearing, the residential rehab where I spent a month learning how to heal the underlying core issues that drive substance abuse. (Though I didn’t use drugs, my work as a digital copywriter and some unexpected struggles opened a door for me to participate in the program.) Our participant group...
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