Ask For What You Want; You Just Might Be Surprised

Do we dare to ask for what we want in life?

If we’re honest, a lot of us would answer, Not often.

This is totally understandable. After all, asking for what we want brings up all kinds of insecurities and fears. It feels so freaking risky, like middle school dances all over again.

We think …

Who am I to want this? It’s too big for me.
No one has time. They’re too busy. They’ll never say yes.
What if they think I’m crazy? (What if I AM crazy?)
I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve it. I have to be realistic.
I have to wait until I am 100% ready.

The excuses sound good in our heads, but deep down we know better. If we don’t ask, we‘ll never know what far-off dreams might be within reach.

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Stop Believing Shame’s Lies (and a Giveaway to Help!)

There’s a lie that you and I both believe, and it’s sneaky.

Here’s how it happens: first, you start struggling with feelings of shame. Maybe you made a comment that you wish that you hadn’t, or you looked in the mirror and realized that you’re out of shape.

Shame engulfs you like one of J.K. Rowling’s Dementors, those terrifying wraiths that drain happiness. Soon you’re locked in what author and researcher Brené Brown calls a “shame spiral”.

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One Question To Ask When the Going Gets Tough

On my first day of kindergarten, my mom gave me some advice.

She told me what her mother told her on the first day of school: when you walk through the doors, don’t worry about making friends. Just focus on finding the girl who looks even more upset about all this than you do. Go over to her and say hello. Smile. Then, you’ll have a friend.

My five-year-old-self was incredulous. Could it be that simple? With a little prompting, I gave it a shot. I walked up to a weeping girl and said, “Hi, I’m Caroline. What’s your name?”

With that, I made my first school friend. It was a serendipitous choice, since she was (is) an excellent visual artist. Back then, I could barely cut in a straight line — OK, that’s still true! — so she’d help me with arts and crafts. She didn’t like to write, so I’d help her with compositions. We saw each other through.

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