permission

Can’t Stop Striving? Your Free Perfectionist Recovery Toolkit Is Here!

2 Comments

I knew I was a perfectionist the day I got into a car crash on the way to high school.

The accident totaled our family’s pretty blue Chrysler Concorde, and I wasn’t in great shape either. Thankfully I didn’t sustain significant physical injuries, but I was hyperventilating, trembling, and generally traumatized.

Still, my tears were barely dry when I insisted on going straight to school.

Why? Well, I thought that since I’d already screwed up by getting into the accident and missing two classes, taking a day off was out of the question.

Though I would never have asked a frightened friend to soldier on like that, I demanded it of myself.

I had to keep striving. There was no room for letting myself be looked after. I couldn’t afford to make yet another mistake.

Continue reading →

You Can’t Just Do What You Want … Or Can You? Plus A Giveaway

11 Comments

Ever wish you had permission to do what you want, rather than what you’re ‘supposed to’ want? Even if it’s something that seems totally out of character?

You’re a workhorse who wants a week off, or a couch potato who yearns to go backpacking. Or maybe you’re a shy, studious college student who longs to cut loose and sing karaoke at a bar.

Okay, I admit it: that last one was me. I used to think that only really confident people could do karaoke, so I never put my name down even though I wanted to. But one fateful night in 2006, I got tired of being afraid.

With a little help from my friends (and wine) I took the mic and stole the show. And by the show, I mean the DJ’s hat.

Karaoke, do what you want

Continue reading →

The Only Life You Can Save.

8 Comments

What if the only life you can save is your own?

Something happened to friends of mine this past week. I won’t go into detail, because it is not my story to tell. The short version is: People I love are being unjustly excluded. And I’m angry about it.

Writing that last sentence is a big deal for me. See, for a long time I was convinced that feeling anger meant that I was a ‘bad’ person, lacking in compassion. And I wanted so much to be (and to be seen as) ‘good’. So whenever anger arose, I tried hard to make it go away.

Continue reading →