Can’t Stop Striving? Your Free Perfectionist Recovery Toolkit Is Here!
I knew I was a perfectionist the day I got into a car crash on the way to high school. The accident totaled our family’s pretty blue Chrysler Concorde, and I wasn’t in great shape either. Thankfully I didn’t sustain significant physical injuries, but I was hyperventilating, trembling, and generally traumatized. Still, my tears were barely dry when I insisted on going straight to school. Why? Well, I thought that since I’d already screwed up by getting into the accident and missing two classes, taking a day off was out of the question. Though I would never have asked a...
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Exhausted from Being The Good Girl? Read This.
“I’ve always been the good girl. I try so hard to do everything right and not screw up. Caroline, do you know how exhausting that is? I think you do; that’s why I’m writing to you. I’m a grand perfectionist; I’m never worthy enough. I am super hard on myself, with very high expectations. I feel guilty about so much of what I do and say. All my life I’ve been good at offering help to others, but I don’t want to ask for or accept help myself. If I am able to do it on my own, then I...
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The Story You’re Not Telling: You Need to Read with Laura Parrott Perry (Plus a Love Warrior Book Giveaway!)
Do you have a shame story that you’re afraid to tell? Do you have a secret narrative that’s running the show of your day-to-day life? If so, you are not the only one. Let me tell you a story about a time when an untold shame story hijacked my day a few years ago. It started with a bunch of ripe avocados on our kitchen counter one morning. …
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From Distraction to Connection: You Need to Read with Rachel Macy Stafford (Plus an Only Love Today Book Giveaway!)
How do you resist the addictive pull of phone notifications to be present to the people around you? How do you shift from distraction to connection? How do you find the courage to be yourself when your judgmental inner voice tells you that you have to be perfect? How do you make peace with your past mistakes and enjoy your life here and now? Welcome to the second edition of our new video interview series, You Need to Read. Today, we’re discussing these powerful questions with author and speaker Rachel Macy Stafford! …
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You Don’t Owe Anyone An Interaction
Have you ever beat yourself up over not responding to every message you received in a day? Me too. I know how it goes. On one hand, you’re tired and overwhelmed. But on the other hand, there are emails! Texts! Calls! All demanding a response! If we check in with ourselves, we can sense which messages require our attention. However, we have trouble heeding that inner knowing because it conflicts with what we’ve been taught … If someone writes, we must write back. If someone starts talking, we must converse. If someone moves in for a hug, we must embrace....
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Set Down The Strings.
I have this counterproductive dance I do with my long-distance loved ones. Here’s how it goes: when I don’t expect to see faraway friends and family anytime soon, I’m pretty good at keeping in touch. I make calls, write cards, and send care packages. But when I do expect to see people soon – say, in the weeks just before a family vacation – I slack off. I don’t call, and I hold back from sharing. My justification for this is that I’m saving up the best discussion topics for in-person interaction. …
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Tired of Rushing Around? Read This.
Here’s the truth I need to share with you today … When we when we move through life at a breakneck pace, it adversely affects us, and other people. True emergencies aside, many of us have a real problem with pace. We find ourselves moving frantically through our days. Even so, we’re haunted by the knowledge that life’s most beautiful gifts – like real relationships and lunches with life-long friends – just can’t be rushed. …
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On Learning to Be Free (Even if You Have a Lot to Do)
This “Learning to Be Free” post is inspired by Julie, the randomly-selected winner of our survey-based contest! Julie writes: “Funny you suggest a few lines about where I am in my life – I’m not sure! I am 60 yrs. old and have been a mother for 40 yrs. In addition to giving birth to 3 sons, my husband and I became foster parents. After 24 years and 39 placements, we finished off our family with 6 adopted kiddos, bringing our total to 9! My youngest child turned 12 today. He and his 13 yr. old brother are both on...
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Overwhelmed and Overburdened? Freedom is Possible.
Friends, I want to tell you the truth about what my life was like a few years ago. I was overwhelmed and overburdened, addicted to sugar and caffeine. Whenever I’m tempted to sugar-coat (pun intended) the exhaustion of that lifestyle, I remember this: I came down with shingles at the ripe old age of 23. …
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Lessons from the (Emotional) Arctic Tundra
Have you ever struggled with a weighty sense of failure, a belief that no matter what you try, you’ll make the wrong move? Have you ever found yourself feeling uncomfortable in a group, thinking: I don’t belong with all these happy people. I’d like to cheer up, but I’m just tense and miserable. Wish I could be like them … ? If so, dear friend, you are not alone. I could talk about our current survey all day — 58 of you have filled it out as of this writing! — but I’ll just share these findings: 53 out of 58...
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