You Don’t Owe Anyone An Interaction
Have you ever beat yourself up over not responding to every message you received in a day? Me too. I know how it goes. On one hand, you’re tired and overwhelmed. But on the other hand, there are emails! Texts! Calls! All demanding a response! If we check in with ourselves, we can sense which messages require our attention. However, we have trouble heeding that inner knowing because it conflicts with what we’ve been taught … If someone writes, we must write back. If someone starts talking, we must converse. If someone moves in for a hug, we must embrace....
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The One Song that Changes Everything
Early in my life, I noticed a pattern. Whenever I’d meet older adults, those in my parents’ demographic, our interactions would follow a predictable course. We’d exchange names, and then I’d look down, both because I was shy and because I knew what was coming next. They would start singing. …
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This Makes God Smile.
Friends, I’m going to share an excerpt from a new book with you today. But if hearing the words “daily devotional” makes you want to bolt, I understand, because I feel that way sometimes too. Daily devotionals and I have a checkered history, as they tend to trigger perfectionistic thinking. If I’d miss a day, I’d start to feel bad about myself, thinking, Shouldn’t I be more disciplined? And at some point I’d start comparing myself to the author, thinking, Shouldn’t I be ‘more spiritual’, more like so-and-so? Then I’d end up feeling like I’d failed at loving God if...
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It is OK to Choose the Heart of Gold Instead.
Tis the season for a slew of blog posts about the importance of slowing down and savoring. It’s that time of year when writers feel compelled to publish essays on what really matters. Don’t get me wrong; I love these posts. I’ll link to my current favorites throughout this essay. But it’s easy to read beautiful, elegant sentences and then revert to my usual habits. So this Advent, I’ve clarified what I don’t want: I don’t want to lose sight of beauty. I don’t want to be a moving target, to look up after New Year’s and wonder, incredulously, Where...
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Tired of Rushing Around? Read This.
Here’s the truth I need to share with you today … When we when we move through life at a breakneck pace, it adversely affects us, and other people. True emergencies aside, many of us have a real problem with pace. We find ourselves moving frantically through our days. Even so, we’re haunted by the knowledge that life’s most beautiful gifts – like real relationships and lunches with life-long friends – just can’t be rushed. …
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Terror, Triumph, and Taking the Stage: Lessons from TEDxBirminghamSalon
Friends, a funny thing happened when I started writing about what it was like to speak at TEDxBirmingham: I kept using plural pronouns. I kept writing, “We traveled, we spoke.” Don’t worry, there’s a simpler explanation than schizophrenia. I wrote in the plural because I felt your excitement and encouragement as a tangible presence at TEDxBirmingham, and I cannot thank you enough for that. Plus, you helped me choose my topic; I based the talk around this post. Your thoughtful responses galvanized me to write and speak about our shared struggle with perfectionism. I’ll post the text of the talk...
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Why I Go to Counseling: My Messy Beautiful
I’ve never shared this in a public forum before, but here goes: I go to counseling twice a month. The stigma of seeking support is lifting – in fact, April is Counseling Awareness month – but it still takes courage to admit it. Why? Because when you say you’re going to counseling, what you’re really saying is, “I am someone who needs a little help.” And that can be a very uncomfortable statement to make. Personally, I prefer to pretend that I have it all together, that I can handle this crazy thing called life just fine. But there are...
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Stop Rushing and Start Living (Even If You Prize Productivity)
This morning, I find myself wanting to stop rushing and do just this: to sit on the sofa and stare out the window. Sacred dawdling, as Sue Monk Kidd calls it. When I first read those words, I thought, Dawdling as sacred? Really? But it is sacred, because it is an act of faith. To stop my work, be unproductive, and simply look out into the new day … this requires trust. When I do this, I feel as though I am coming close to a subversive act. To sit around? On a Thursday morning at 10am, when I should...
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When is it OK to Put Aside Productivity and Go Hands Free?
Once upon a December afternoon, I decided to bake cookies for a party. I could have skipped it; in fact, I nearly talked myself out of it. Baking is not the most efficient use of my time. Nevertheless, I put aside productivity because it felt like Christmas, like celebration. Choosing Christmas doesn’t come naturally to me. You see, the church I grew up in didn’t believe in celebrating Christmas, supposedly because it was a pagan holiday and a consumerist frenzy. Looking back, though, I wonder if perhaps the church leaders weren’t really afraid of materialism or paganism. I wonder if...
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Contentment is NOT a Foreign Land. (Plus, the Trailer!!!)
One morning, I sat down to write feeling crazy and desperate. I was deep in the midst of a waiting season, and -- much as I'd like to think otherwise -- I'm not the most patient person. (Maybe you can relate?) I wrote: “It's all hopeless. So many times I've put my heart out on the line – in a post, a proposal – and received no response. Hearing nothing is worse than hearing no. Ask any writer, any artist. You can move on from a 'no.' But a 'nothing' can eat you alive. I hate the uncertainty of it...
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