You Have Permission to Walk Out.
Friends, a few quick notes to start: A Wish Come Clear celebrated its four-year blog anniversary on January 16! I had every intention of publishing that day, but life got in the way. In the past week, I’ve faced a host of physical issues. (I’ll spare you the details, but don’t worry, nothing is serious, just unpleasant.) Naturally, I did not appreciate this. Who enjoys letting go of their plans, taking pills, and slowing way down? Not me. However, there is a silver lining. I’ve had practice letting go of judgment and self-blame and choosing kindness, which is a spiritual...
Read More
It is OK to Choose the Heart of Gold Instead.
Tis the season for a slew of blog posts about the importance of slowing down and savoring. It’s that time of year when writers feel compelled to publish essays on what really matters. Don’t get me wrong; I love these posts. I’ll link to my current favorites throughout this essay. But it’s easy to read beautiful, elegant sentences and then revert to my usual habits. So this Advent, I’ve clarified what I don’t want: I don’t want to lose sight of beauty. I don’t want to be a moving target, to look up after New Year’s and wonder, incredulously, Where...
Read More
Perfectionism Doesn’t Protect Us: The TEDx Video!
Friends, today is the day! The video of my 4-minute TEDxBirminghamSalon talk, Perfectionism Doesn’t Protect Us, is now live on the TEDx Talks Youtube channel. I must admit, I’m nervous about sending it out. It was one thing to get up in front of a hundred people and give this talk; it’s another thing to email it to all of you. But then I remember: you were the ones who helped me to find the courage to give this talk in the first place. You were the ones who encouraged me to tell the truth about my struggles with perfectionism...
Read More
How to Persevere When Rejections Knock You Down
It’s the moment every writer knows and dreads. When I finally open the email, it’s just as I feared. My essay wasn’t chosen; try again next time. No matter how many times this happens – and for writers and artists, it happens a lot – I still feel a swirl of emotion. Depending on how much I wanted an acceptance, I’m by turns frustrated, disappointed, or angry. If you’ve received such a rejection, then you know the feeling. It’s as though you’ve offered your best wine to an honored guest, only to see them sniff the glass and turn away....
Read More
What Would You Do With No Arms and No Limits?
Have you ever seen someone whose courage just took your breath away? Well, I have; his name is Richie Parker. At the time of this writing, Richie is in his 30s, and he works as an engineer for Hendrick Motorsports. Before I share the rest of the story, though, I have to tell you that this is not the post I had planned for today. But my birthday is coming up; this week, I’ll be 29. And people keep asking if I’m worried about nearing the big 3-0. Part of me understands the anxiety. But another part of me thinks...
Read More
One Question To Ask When the Going Gets Tough
On my first day of kindergarten, my mom gave me some advice. She told me what her mother told her on the first day of school: when you walk through the doors, don’t worry about making friends. Just focus on finding the girl who looks even more upset about all this than you do. Go over to her and say hello. Smile. Then, you’ll have a friend. My five-year-old-self was incredulous. Could it be that simple? With a little prompting, I gave it a shot. I walked up to a weeping girl and said, “Hi, I’m Caroline. What’s your name?”...
Read More
In My Arms: A Guest Post by Gillian Marchenko
Happy Holiday, friends! Today, we're opening our doors to a guest. It's my pleasure to introduce Gillian Marchenko. (Her tagline: "The world is full of people who seem to have it all together ... Gillian speaks for the rest of us.") She's an author and national speaker who lives in Chicago with her husband Sergei and four daughters. Gillian writes about "stumbling faith, Down syndrome, adoption, depression, motherhood, and lots of grace." I shared a guest post on Gillian's blog earlier this year ("The Most Beautiful and Terrible of Promises, Lessons Learned from my Brother with Autism"), and I'm happy...
Read More
That Whole Gorgeous and Terrible Pageant
Watching people's professionally-produced videos can be ... challenging. Back & forth, back & forth ... Even though I know better, I usually think, Dang, that person really has their life together! They glide through their days with a soft glow surrounding them ... no zits, pit stains, or problems! That is so not my life ... As you've probably guessed, A Wish Come Clear has a new video in the works, thanks to the talented team at Armosa Studios. But excited as I am about sharing the video with you, the behind-the-scenes story comes first. Why? Because I...
Read More
Beware the Laundry: A Guide to Writing & Relationships
"I sure need encouragement to write. Help." This photo always makes me smile, because, dude, where's the typing paper?! Credit: Kevin J. Fischer A dear friend recently wrote this to me, adding, "I hope you can shed some light on how I can get started." So I thought I'd, you know, write an answer. And I thought I'd publish it here because writing is about relationship. Writing is an interplay between what's in your mind and what's on the page, between the stories you tell and the stories you live. And so it's no surprise that the most...
Read More
How to Betray Your True Self (And Then Make Amends)
This is a tale of treachery, but it doesn't start out that way. 'Betrayed' faces, 2011. Instead, it starts with a group of direct-care assistants hanging out in the kitchen of the L'Arche home where we lived and worked in 2008. I'd just finished a strenuous workweek, and I was exhausted. Why? I'd recently said yes to becoming a Home Life Coordinator. In addition to doing caregiving routines, I wrote schedules, mentored assistants, and oversaw home life. We had a number of crises that summer, so I served in the new position while training for it and simultaneously...
Read More
