How Do I Stop Being a Perfectionist?

“How do I stop being a perfectionist? How do you move away from perfectionism?”

These are the questions you ask, and on one level the answers are simple.

We shift out of perfectionism through daily, real-world action, rewriting our old patterns of behavior and belief.

But you’re not just asking for the how-to. You’re asking for the hope. You’re asking, “Is it really possible for us to change?”

Let me tell you a story.

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I Never Saw It Coming: A Story of Self-Forgiveness

Something miraculous happened to me recently.

The other night, I was typing at my laptop, responding to emails, ordering gifts for friends, and ignoring the drifts of cat fur that grow larger by the day.

Nearly a half an hour went by before I stood up and walked toward our kitchen. It was only then that I remembered: I’d left a pot of rice cooking on the stove.

“Oh no!” I yelped. “I forgot about the rice! Shoot and sugar muffins!”

(If you hang around me long enough, you’ll hear creative alternatives to swear words; it’s a holdover from growing up “so totally relig”.)

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One Sentence To Set You Free from Fear

Have you ever had your world turned upside down by a single sentence? Have you ever felt someone else’s words unlock a caged place within your heart and set you free from fear?

If so, then this story is for you.

It begins with me spending a month in a residential rehab called The Clearing.

I am here for work – I’m a copywriter on The Clearing’s team, writing ebooks and essays – but I am also here for my own healing.

(They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said yes.)

On this particular day in workshop, we are learning about self-forgiveness. We are offering ourselves compassion for our judgments against ourselves and others.

Then The Clearing’s co-founder and CEO Joe Koelzer tells us, almost offhandedly, “Oh, and by the way, you don’t have to worry about asking God for forgiveness.

At this, I cannot help but raise my hand and say, “Wait … you don’t?”

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