What’s Beneath the Busy? I Dare You to Ask.

Truth-time, dear friends: we are really, really good at fooling ourselves. We say that we’re so busy, but what we really mean is that we’re scared to look at what’s beneath the busy. Our frantic activity functions like a drug; it gives us a high and helps us avoid feelings we’re afraid to face. If that’s you, there’s no judgment here. We’re all on this journey together;  none of us have it all figured out. …
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Can’t Stop Striving? Your Free Perfectionist Recovery Toolkit Is Here!

I knew I was a perfectionist the day I got into a car crash on the way to high school. The accident totaled our family’s pretty blue Chrysler Concorde, and I wasn’t in great shape either. Thankfully I didn’t sustain significant physical injuries, but I was hyperventilating, trembling, and generally traumatized. Still, my tears were barely dry when I insisted on going straight to school. Why? Well, I thought that since I’d already screwed up by getting into the accident and missing two classes, taking a day off was out of the question. Though I would never have asked a ...
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Tired of Being Tired? This One’s For You.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who didn’t know how to take care of herself. All she knew was that she was tired of being tired. When this girl felt physically ill, she tried to cancel her dinner plans … but instead she let a friend override her protests. She showed up at a restaurant burning with fever and flu, then staggered home alone. When this girl went out and an older, married guy made a pass at her, she tried to move away … but instead she let false guilt freeze her. She just didn’t want him ...
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Boundaries are a Girl’s Best Friend

If your energy is dragging and you need a boost, here’s my favorite trick: Set some boundaries on your time and attention. Step away from something that doesn’t feel right for you and put your focus elsewhere. This can be terrifying in theory, but when you actually do it? What a rush! This practice has the power to increase your energy like you wouldn’t believe. …
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Overwhelmed and Overburdened? Freedom is Possible.

Friends, I want to tell you the truth about what my life was like a few years ago. I was overwhelmed and overburdened, addicted to sugar and caffeine. Whenever I’m tempted to sugar-coat (pun intended) the exhaustion of that lifestyle, I remember this: I came down with shingles at the ripe old age of 23. …
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Get Rid of Superwoman Syndrome Once and for All

When it comes to what happened the other day, I have choices. I can forget it, beat myself up for having superwoman syndrome, or learn from it. Usually I elect a combination of forgetfulness and self-flagellation, but now, I’m going to go with learning. Here’s what happened: I spent a day in a haze of stress, flitting from one administrative task to another. I didn’t prioritize creative writing. By the end I was sprawled on the couch, back aching from hours of sitting, eyes strained from staring at the computer. What I found especially frustrating was that I know better. ...
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