On Caregiving and Paradox: Growing Up to Be a Kid Again
"When I grow up, I want to be ... a kid again!" So proclaimed a t-shirt of a friend (and Vassar College housemate) of mine. I remembered it recently because of what I've been learning: that being a real grown-up means embracing the part of oneself that is -- and always will be -- a child. Over the last two weeks, my husband and I have been on an extended 'moving tour'. We relocated from DC to Alabama, but instead of settling into our new (old) house right away, we dropped off our furniture and continued on. Moving had its...
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The Rumors are True: On Moving 750+ Miles Away, Seeing Past the Surface of Special Needs, and Having a Hand to Hold
Yes, it's really happening: my husband Jonathan and I are relocating from Washington DC to a small town in Alabama this week. Soon, we'll be on the road, with everything in transit, everything in flux. For a couple who likes their daily routines, this is a destabilizing prospect. It's a bittersweet ending, but it's also a beginning. A new adventure is held out to us, and we're reaching to grasp it. Even as one life seems to slip away, another is on the horizon, fast drawing near. Even as I'm hugging old friends goodbye, an invisible hand seems to be...
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100 Posts on Disability, Caregiving, and Courage (and Why We Fear Public Speaking More than Death)
I stare down at the small pile before me: an outline of my talk (8 pages long), 2 books to read from, and 1 cough drop, just in case things get desperate. This is it, I think. There's no going back now. I'm standing in front of a small audience at St. Francis of Assisi church, about to give a talk entitled, "Not A Burden, but a Privilege: Ministry Alongside People with Special Needs." And boy oh boy, am I nervous. I try not to think about the camera filming me, or the raw ache in my throat that had...
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My Greatest Teacher in the Art of Acceptance: My Brother with Autism
This is the 99th published post here at A Wish Come Clear. With the 100th post around the corner, I'm thinking about another milestone that's coming up soon: my younger brother Willie's 25th birthday. (Willie has autism, as well as myriad creative gifts; he came up with the name 'A Wish Come Clear'.) Willie has been talking about his 25th birthday since, well, the day after his 24th. At regular intervals, he announces, "On May 10, 2012, Willie will be 25 years old!" And then, of course, we gently prompt, "I will be 25", and he says it right back,...
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What You’re Going Through Is What You Have to Give: Confessions from a (Reluctant) Reframer
It's confession time. Confession #1: I've spent the last twenty minutes checking Facebook and Twitter, in a last-ditch attempt to procrastinate writing this post. Confession #2: This our ninety-sixth (96th!) post here at A Wish Come Clear. You'd think I'd be over feeling insecure about sharing my life stories in this way, but no. Vulnerability packs a punch. Every. Single. Time. Confession #3: For the last four weeks, I have not felt like myself. I had what I thought was the flu last month, but I've not been able to bounce back from it. And then the telltale spots appeared....
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Overhearing that Argument (A Lesson Learned in Laughter)
Happy Monday, all! First off, I'd like to welcome visitors from Autism Key and I'm A Mom Too. I have two guest posts up this week; "Autism, Siblings and the R-Word Effect" and, "A Lifetime of Lies (And A Truth to Set You Free)." First-time visitors, be sure to check out the welcome video (to your right and below), and visit the About page. Finally, I'd like to offer you a gift: Your Creed of Care: How To Dig For Treasure In People (Without Getting Buried Alive). This book is about balancing the responsibilities of caregiving with the responsibility of...
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My Brother is the Biter: On Smashing Guitars, Owning Hard Truths, and Coming Through with Love: Guest Post on Autism Home Rescue
Readers, I'm happy to share that I have a guest post running today! (The 2nd guest posting has been postponed.) My Brother is the Biter: On Smashing Guitars, Owning Hard Truths, and Coming Through with Love is on Autism Home Rescue. Thank you, Cathy, for allowing me to guest on your site! It's been a pleasure to connect with you and your community. Welcome to A Wish Come Clear, readers from Autism Home Rescue! This Valentine's Day, I'd like to invite you to consider giving yourself the gift of posts via email. When you do, you'll also receive a copy...
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On Daring to Be Happy (Glitter Pens Optional)
You never know when you might get roped into making Valentines. When I came for supper at L'Arche last Thursday night, I didn't expect a craft portion of the evening. But one of our guests had brought card-making supplies, and she set us the assignment of making one Valentine each. I enjoyed this, especially because my friend Leo* asked me for my help with his card. When I said yes, he came to sit beside me. He'd added stickers, but needed some help with the glitter pens. Whenever Leo asks me for help, I'm reminded of what it was like...
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How To Find Contentment in the (Painful, Crazy, Joyous) Present Moment
Have you ever looked at a photograph and thought, What a window into another world ? That's how I feel when I see this picture of my friends Gene and Allison, snapped at a L'Arche dance in July 2007. At the time, I'd been at L'Arche just over a month, and so, though we liked each other immediately, we were all relative strangers then. When I look at this picture now, I take in the bright colors, the glad energy, the happy smiles. I take it all in, thinking, "God, we had no idea what was coming." We didn't know how...
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Death, Empowerment, and How To Make Your Grandpa Proud: Thoughts on A Wish Come Clear’s Anniversary
There's a great deal of power in having someone believe in your dreams. The path to following my dream of becoming a full-time writer is filled with people who believed in me. From my grade-school teachers (who thought I had a gift for writing) to my parents (who took me to 6am skating practice, helped me get to Vassar, and so much more), to my friends and readers here (who have brought stories, help, and support to every post) to my husband (whose technical and emotional support have been invaluable) ... I could not have done any of this without...
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