When You Want to Apologize for Existing
“I say ‘I’m sorry’ a LOT, usually when it’s not necessary. I apologize for existing.” “I’m so tired of fighting myself … For the last 17 years I spend my days in service to precious elders and give all that I can, yet inside me I feel like I am never, ever enough. The perfectionist in me doesn’t seem to be silenced.” “I’m so very, very, very tired Caroline! …. I’m at war with myself and know deep down I don’t have to be.”* …
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Can’t Stop Striving? Your Free Perfectionist Recovery Toolkit Is Here!
I knew I was a perfectionist the day I got into a car crash on the way to high school. The accident totaled our family’s pretty blue Chrysler Concorde, and I wasn’t in great shape either. Thankfully I didn’t sustain significant physical injuries, but I was hyperventilating, trembling, and generally traumatized. Still, my tears were barely dry when I insisted on going straight to school. Why? Well, I thought that since I’d already screwed up by getting into the accident and missing two classes, taking a day off was out of the question. Though I would never have asked a...
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The Risk of NOT Being Busy
When my husband Jonathan and I moved from DC to Alabama five years ago, the biggest culture shock wasn’t the Southern accents, but rather, the less busy pace of life. It was the stunningly slow turns that drivers made into parking lots. It was standing still at a four-way stop because everyone wanted to let everyone else go first. (As a New Jersey native, both of these drove me bananas. Just go already! You could not get away with these shenanigans in New York!) But the biggest change of all was the sudden halt of my own busyness. …
What If You Stopped Making Yourself Miserable and Chose Joy? (6 Year Anniversary Video)
Happy Anniversary to us, friends! It’s been six years since the first post at A Wish Come Clear, so I recorded a video, What If You Stopped Making Yourself Miserable and Chose Joy? Click here to watch the video on Youtube, or just press play and read the approximate transcript below. *** Hello! I’m recording this video to celebrate A Wish Come Clear’s six year anniversary. I started this blog in January 2011, and wow, I am amazed at all that has happened since then. I’ve learned a lot, but one of the best lessons has been to focus on...
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You Don’t Owe Anyone An Interaction: The TEDx Talk
Here’s one way I could tell this story. A few months ago, I was accepted to TEDxBirmingham’s All Star Salon. I worked hard and delivered my 5-minute talk, You Don’t Owe Anyone An Interaction, on September 13, 2016. In the talk, I addressed concerns over my viral blog post of the same name. I discussed how, in this age of hyper-connectivity, we can still give to others without getting burnt out. Today, I’m thrilled to share the video with you! That’s one version of the truth. But there’s another version that I want to entrust to you. There are a...
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Your Truth Will Set You Free
Friends, this is the approximate text of a talk I gave at Living Spirit Church on Sunday, July 31, 2016, Your Truth Will Set You Free. Photo Credit: geralt, Pixabay You’ve heard the platitudes … Honesty is the best policy. Tell the truth and shame the devil. An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. They make it sound simple, don’t they? As if telling the truth was so straightforward. But for those of us who are accustomed to covering up, getting real is … complicated. When you start speaking up after years of silence, you’ll discover the...
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You Can’t Just Do What You Want … Or Can You? Plus A Giveaway
Ever wish you had permission to do what you want, rather than what you’re ‘supposed to’ want? Even if it’s something that seems totally out of character? You’re a workhorse who wants a week off, or a couch potato who yearns to go backpacking. Or maybe you’re a shy, studious college student who longs to cut loose and sing karaoke at a bar. Okay, I admit it: that last one was me. I used to think that only really confident people could do karaoke, so I never put my name down even though I wanted to. But one fateful night...
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What If Your Real Self is Really Mad? (Plus a Giveaway!)
You’ve heard the platitudes … Honesty is the best policy. Tell the truth and shame the devil. An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. They make it sound simple, don’t they? As if telling the truth was so straightforward. But for those of us who are accustomed to covering up, getting real is … complicated. When you start speaking up after years of silence, you’ll discover the land mines in your psyche. You probably won’t even know they’re there until you step on one. The anger and sadness that you stuffed down years ago will rise to...
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What If You Refused to Stop Walking Homeward?
Let’s just be blunt: the last week has been hard. On behalf of us all, I’d like a cosmic refund. I’d like a do-over, our money back, and some free dessert for the table, please. Here in the McGraw house, multiple projects stalled, and I felt adrift and unsure. Then the feral cats chose our yard as the new kitty hot spot, leading to a flea infestation. Every time I stepped outside I received new bites, and I’m allergic to them. (Thank God for antihistamines.) Then I received some disappointing personal news. And after that I heard about the Oregon...
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Wanting to Leave is Enough
Let me guess: it used to be good. That job, that relationship, that volunteer position … whatever it was, it started out fine. But over time, things changed. Or maybe you did. Either way, you’ve got a secret: wanting to leave. …
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