Why Do I Feel Bad When I Spend Money On Myself?

I used to have so much trouble spending money “just for me.” In college, I worked three jobs, volunteered, and tithed hundreds of dollars to my church … and I couldn’t pull the trigger on a $15 gift for myself. Before I graduated from Vassar, I wanted to buy a coffee mug from my favorite cafe … but I couldn’t do it. Spending money on that “selfish” purchase was too anxiety-producing. Why do I feel bad when I spend money on myself? I wondered.  …
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Don’t Give Up in the Eleventh Hour

“How do I not give up in the eleventh hour?” This is a heartfelt listener question, and I take it seriously. Here’s my short answer (which connects to the theme of our featured interview this week): Don’t be that mean to yourself. …
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How Does She Do It All?

“How do moms of young kids do it all?” That listener question cracked me up. The simple answer is that they don’t! No one does. The idea of “doing it all” is a myth. Every day, we make trade-offs. If we do this, that means that we don’t do that. So, the question isn’t, “How does she do it all?” Rather, the question is, “What matters most to you, personally? What do you choose, today?” …
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What to Do When You’re Drowning in Overwhelm

“Help, I’m overwhelmed! If you are feeling overwhelmed, how to do you slow down to know what to focus on?  Should I focus on decluttering and mediation first then let whatever happens happens or should I actively try to find my purpose?” …
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The Price We Pay for Delaying Decisions

What do you do when you’re not sure about a decision? If you’re like me, you debate it endlessly in your own mind. You go over the pros and cons. You try very hard to figure out what the best choice might be. But all of this striving is exhausting. And often, we expend so much effort trying to make the “perfect” decision that we don’t make a choice at all.  …
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When Your Family Doesn’t Support Your Dreams

“How do I practice self care and pursue dreams with a family that say they support you until it is inconvenient for them? (Leaving my family is not an option.)” Wow, what a great listener question! What do we do when the people closest to us don’t support our dreams? If you’ve ever wrestled with that issue, then click here to watch the new, 11:56 minute video. …
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Torn Between Personal Growth and Career Success?

“How do I know when I need to focus more on personal growth, and when to focus more on career success?” This listener question from The Clarity Course Series illumines a popular assumption. We believe that our personal growth doesn’t feed our career success, and vice versa. But what if we can’t separate them into neat boxes? What if they’re intertwined? …
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Is It Okay to Want More?

“I am in ambivalence (or in quantum congruence?): I both think I am very happy and satisfied with my life as it is; and at the same time I think that I must serve a better purpose. Which one is true?” I love this listener question from The Clarity Course Series, because goodness knows I’ve struggled with it! Back in 2012, I constantly asked myself, “How can I want to leave my job at L’Arche when I love my friends there so much?” For months, I couldn’t come up with a good answer. …
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Are You Hiding Behind “I Don’t Know”?

Have you ever spent a day just noticing how many times you hear the phrase I don’t know … ? If so, then you know this to be true: We have a don’t-know epidemic on our hands. To wit, here are a few listener questions from The Clarity Course Series survey. “I don’t even know where to start … I know very little about technology and the industry. I have so many ideas and interests it is hard to choose where to start.” “What if I don’t know what I really want?” Sometimes, our not-knowing is legitimate. We need to ...
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Making Time to Go After Goals

“How can I have the confidence to make the time to go after my goals when my brain tells me they are frivolous?” “How can I be more efficient with my use of time … and fit exercise into an already packed schedule? [Housework, part-time employment, half-time Ph.D. studies, dependent elderly father 90 minutes away refusing to consider moving into care.]” Boy oh boy, could I relate to these listener questions from The Clarity Course Series. Though our circumstances are different, I know what it’s like to work big goals into an already-full life. …
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