Embarrassing Secrets of a Recovering Perfectionist

During my first month as a freshman at Vassar College, one of my hallmates caught me folding my dirty laundry.

Yes, you read that right – I folded my dirty laundry before placing it in the collapsible navy-blue mesh hamper at the foot of my bed. It was a nervous habit that gave me a sense of control in an unfamiliar place.

Of course I didn’t want anyone to know about my odd practice, so I flushed with embarrassment when my hallmate said, “Caroline, did you seriously just fold those pajamas before putting them into your hamper?”

My hallmate’s tone was more amused than accusatory, but even so, I felt like hiding under the bed.

“Yeah, I did. You got me. I’m a total neat freak,” I said, trying to laugh it off. I swallowed hard and tried to push aside the critical voice inside my head that said, You’re so weird! Why can’t you be normal? What’s wrong with you?

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How Do I Trust Myself and My Inner Knowing? (Ask Caroline Videos)

“How can I learn to trust my inner voice and make my decisions based on it, no matter how odd or messy or random they look at the time?”

That’s just one of the powerful questions posed in The Confidence Course survey earlier this year.

As I read through dozens of responses, I felt motivated to answer and help.

In this new “Ask Caroline” video series, I’m responding to your questions and coaching you toward greater clarity.

Recovering perfectionists like us struggle to trust the apparent messiness of our intuition and the apparent randomness of our learning process. In this video, I shed light on how we can build self-trust.

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It’s Me Who Decides.

Real talk: Are you getting where you want to go in life? Are you putting your foot on the gas pedal, or are you idling?

These are hard questions to ask – I get that. But they’re also really important.

You’re the one in the driver’s seat. Falling asleep at the wheel is dangerous, both literally and metaphorically.

But being awake, alert, and active? That can save a life.

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