A Wish Come Clear

Choosing Love, Losing Fear, & Finding Home

Hoping Against Hope, Lighting It Up Blue: World Autism Awareness Day

This past week, I experienced a new kind of homecoming. My family had the joy of being together, but we also had the sorrow of my brother Willie’s outbursts. For the first time in a long time, he had multiple instances of out-of-control aggression in the span of a week. As such, World Autism Awareness Day is tinged with pain for me. It’s the grief of watching my parents incur injuries as they try to protect their son from self-harm. It’s the powerlessness of wanting to help and not knowing how. Most of all, it’s the sound of Willie’s weeping after an aggressive episode (which I’ve come to think of as a ‘rage blackout’ because he seems to lose rational consciousness for a time). He always, always, always feels remorse afterward. And I can never, never, never stay angry at him when he cries. If you heard his weeping, you’d [...]