Stop Believing Shame’s Lies (and a Giveaway to Help!)

There’s a lie that you and I both believe, and it’s sneaky.

Here’s how it happens: first, you start struggling with feelings of shame. Maybe you made a comment that you wish that you hadn’t, or you looked in the mirror and realized that you’re out of shape.

Shame engulfs you like one of J.K. Rowling’s Dementors, those terrifying wraiths that drain happiness. Soon you’re locked in what author and researcher Brené Brown calls a “shame spiral”.

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What to Do When You Feel Not Good Enough

Don’t you love how every epic saga starts with the main character going through their usual routine for the millionth time?

Cinderella sweeps the hearth and endures the same familial abuse.

Katniss goes to the Reaping and faces the same brutal injustice.

Lyra prowls Oxford and hides from the same protective grownups. (If you haven’t read the His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman, please cancel your plans and remedy this oversight immediately.)

And then something bizarre happens. A fairy godmother shows up, a familiar name is called, someone slips poison into a glass. In a moment, the journey begins.

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You Don’t Owe Anyone An Interaction

Have you ever beat yourself up over not responding to every message you received in a day?

Me too. I know how it goes. On one hand, you’re tired and overwhelmed. But on the other hand, there are emails! Texts! Calls! All demanding a response!

If we check in with ourselves, we can sense which messages require our attention. However, we have trouble heeding that inner knowing because it conflicts with what we’ve been taught …

If someone writes, we must write back.

If someone starts talking, we must converse.

If someone moves in for a hug, we must embrace.

It doesn’t matter if we feel uncomfortable, exhausted, or just plain unwilling. If we don’t do these things, then we’re unkind and rude. Right?

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