Loving people? Not easy.
Worth it? Unquestionably.
Is anyone else seeing what a devastating mess I’ve made? If everyone has something to offer, what about the person in the mirror?
I love my kids so much, I’d lie down under a train for them. But the littlest things they do drive me completely insane. How can I accept them as they are?
I‘m good at taking care of other people, but when it comes to myself, I don’t know what I need half the time. I feel lost, and I’m losing faith that I’ll ever be found.
I have a lot of caregiving responsibilities, and I feel like giving up. How can I find beauty and meaning in things like laundry and doctor’s appointments?
If you can relate to these questions, welcome. You’re in the right place.
This community celebrates things that others overlook. We uncover sacred stories within our ordinary days. Despite distractions and doubts and difficulties, we persevere in our relationships. We welcome the stranger, because we know that — if we keep our eyes and hearts open – we’ll recognize them as family.
A Wish Come Clear is about telling true stories, with the purpose of helping you find meaning in your most challenging relationships.
Because let’s be honest: loving people is hard. At times the people in your life can make you so mad that you are driven to smash a guitar to smithereens. And conversely, relationships can transform you. They can hold you up, and teach you how to let go of fear and dance. That’s certainly been the case for me.
If it holds true for you, too …
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Your Creed Of Care: How To Dig For Treasure In People (Without Getting Buried Alive)
Love’s Subversive Stance: Ground Yourself & Grow in Relationship.
Caroline McGraw, Treasure Hunter
I’m a would-be childhood paleontologist turned storyteller, digging for treasure in people and uncovering sacred stories in ordinary days. (It’s even better than dinosaur bones.)
Why do I do what I do? It began with my younger brother Willie, who came up with the name, ‘A Wish Come Clear.’ Willie is brilliant, funny, talented, and autistic.
And when he became a teenager, he started having serious behavioral issues, including aggression and self-injury. To say that our relationship was challenging is an understatement. I was scared to sleep in the room next to his.
Willie’s doing better now, but he still has hard days. And I’m still learning what it means to love someone as they are, not as I wish they would be.
After moving out of the room next door to Willie’s and graduating from Vassar College, I joined the L’Arche DC community. (L’Arche is an international faith-based non-profit organization that creates homes where people with and without intellectual disabilities share life.)
I thought I came to serve, but really, I came to be healed. I came to learn about being in relationship, about giving and receiving. Thanks to my time at L’Arche, I found a way to forgive my brother for his rages, and myself for not being able to make them go away.
I spent five years at L’Arche, and those years prepared me to step into the life I have now, the one I’ve always wanted: that of a full-time writer, sharing stories like this one.
Other than playing the role of Snow White, what does a would-be childhood paleontologist do?
- I’m an author. I’ve written several books, and I’m always working on the next. I’ve wanted to be an author ever since the day I held my first book in my hands, in the first grade. I did consider becoming an actual paleontologist, but I figured out that writing was a way of ‘excavating’ without having to get covered in dirt and take too many science courses. As Clarissa Pinkola Estes wrote, “Collecting stories is a constant paleontologic endeavor.”
- I’m a copywriter. I specialize in creating web copy for non-profits and small businesses that support individuals with special needs, helping them feel confident about sharing their work with the world. As Justin Jackson wrote, “Words don’t come after the design is done. Words are the beginning, the core, the focus. Start with words.”
- I’m a speaker. I speak to people who wonder: What if we dedicated ourselves to creating a world in which we celebrate people not just for what they can do, but for who they are and how they are able to love? I’m an introvert, but even so, I love getting up in front of a crowd and telling true stories. As Glennon Melton of Momastery wrote, “I’d rather give a speech to five hundred people than go to a party.”
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What are Readers Saying?
“Well. This [guest post] is totally freaking beautiful … I will publish it. Goosebumps. You are a SERIOUSLY good writer, sister. It’s my favorite- simple, clean, raw, kind and brave. LOVE.”
- Glennon Melton, Creator, Momastery; New York Times Bestselling author of Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed
“WOW WOW WOW. You touched my soul with your beautiful and powerful words, friend. This one is a life-changer. May many hearts be moved by your gift today.”
- Rachel Macy Stafford, Creator, Hands Free Mama; Author of Hands Free Mama
“Even if I don’t find a buyer for one of these photographs and lose a great deal of money as a result, it will have been worth every penny because of the eloquent, perceptive, beautifully written blog [essay] you published today. You are a superb writer, incredibly sensitive, perceptive and obviously intelligent. How you could have understood everything so well during the short time you were in the presence of the photographs yesterday, and how you could have written such a fine, descriptive and interesting essay in less than 24 hours, amazes me (and this from a former journalist who wrote on deadline for well over 25 years).”
- Charles Krause, Journalist and Gallery Owner; Founder, Charles Krause Reporting
“As a Mom and a RN … you are just wonderful. Your words make me feel as if I am understood, in my frustrations and in my absolute joys.”
- Patti, reader
“Your words are truly spirit and life. Thank you. As the mother of 21 year old son, an extraordinary young man with developmental disabilities, your words give courage and hope.”
- Traci Downey, reader
“I read an article you wrote in Ability magazine. As a mom with a son diagnosed ‘on the spectrum,’ it was a blessing to read your thoughts. My son is an only child, but how I would love for him to have a sister like you! It’s encouraging to know that there are people out there advocating, writing, and trying to get others to see that all people are worth knowing …. Please keep on writing! Your article made a difference in my life.”
- Carrie Wayne, reader
“Woke up in the middle of the night “concerned” about all the tasks I have waiting for me. I somehow found my way to your page. Inspiring. There are no accidents….I can sleep now. Thanks!”
- Lizzie McGraw, reader
“Thank you so much for your beautiful and inspiring understanding of life! …. I have already learned so much at your website.”
- Susan Brantmeyer, reader
“Today I bought and read your book [I Was a Stranger to Beauty] and love it! I work at a school where there are a group of special needs kids. I don’t work with them personally but do come in contact with them each day. Your book has helped me to think differently and change my attitude and internal dialogue about them. Thank you so much for that! I really needed to read it.”
- Holly, reader
“Caroline and I are fellow writers … her website actually inspired me to start my own. Caroline’s writing is consistently beautiful, blending personal stories with honest advice, all written in flawless language. Her eBook, Your Creed of Care, is by the far the best free eBook I’ve seen online, both as a helpful resource and a well-written, well-designed document.”
- Brooke Adams Law, writer, Books Distilled